MIDDLE AGEish
Authentically and unapologetically keeping it real, discussing all things Middle Age (ish), when metabolism slows and confidence grows. Middle Age(ish): A time of transition from dreaming of who we will grow up to be and looking at the legacy we will leave behind. Listen to this podcast and join the hosts of Middle Age(ish) as they sit around with a glass of wine to discuss all things related to middle age with some amazing guests!
MIDDLE AGEish
Sofa Talk: Sexy Sinus Voices, Fashion Flashbacks, and Navigating Troll Terrains
Ever wonder why a cold gives you that oddly appealing "sexy sinus voice"? We kick off our latest "Sofa Talk" by reminiscing about the curious benefits of being under the weather and take you on a nostalgic journey through fashion history. Remember when dressing up for school or a flight was akin to preparing for a red-carpet event? We laugh through the transformations in style and air travel etiquette, comparing our decked-out days with today's more laid-back norms. It's a hilarious trip down memory lane that showcases how self-presentation has evolved over the years.
Navigating the digital age isn't for the faint of heart, especially with the rise of criticism and trolls lurking behind every screen. We dive into our own experiences with online negativity and how stepping away from toxic comments is crucial for mental health. With humor reminiscent of the wisdom found in "Schitt's Creek," we discuss how empathy and self-awareness can be powerful tools against virtual vitriol. Our stories and insights offer a blend of laughter and profound takeaways on maintaining confidence despite the naysayers.
On a lighter note, join us as we explore the whimsical world of Halloween and other festive traditions. From the pagan origins of Halloween in Ireland to the more subdued celebrations in places like Australia and England, we unpack the cultural quirks surrounding these holidays. Our discussion also touches on the significance of fireworks in America, pondering their historical symbolism and their impact on our furry friends. This episode is a lively mix of humor, nostalgia, and cultural musings that promise to entertain and enlighten.
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Welcome to the Middle Age-ish Podcast. Authentically and unapologetically, keeping it real, Discussing all things Middle Age-ish, A time when metabolism slows and confidence grows. Join fashion and fitness entrepreneur Ashley Badowski, former Celtic woman and founder of the Lisa Kelly Voice Academy, Lisa Kelly licensed psychologist and mental health expert. Dr Pam Wright and highly sought after cosmetic injector and board certified nurse practitioner, Trisha Kennedy Roman. Join your hosts on the journey of middle age-ish.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Middle Age-ish. My name is Trisha Kennedy Roman and I'm joined here today with my co-host, Ashley Badowski, Lisa Kelly and Dr Pam Wright, and you are joining us for our sofa talk.
Speaker 3:Yay, we love it, I love it.
Speaker 5:I say that every single time I know, so happy, so much fun.
Speaker 2:I have my deeper sexy sinus voice tonight.
Speaker 4:You do yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I hope I can make it through with my voice going the whole time. You sound hot.
Speaker 3:Isn't it funny how we sound hot when we get sick?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, do I sound like I'm 5'10"? Yeah, you bring me some time at all, I mean it really is.
Speaker 3:Did you guys ever see friends when? Monica was sick and she did the VIX and she's like are you sexy? I know I mean. Why is it? I mean some of us, well, not. Some people are blessed with a raspy voice. I however, am not no, and I only sound like that when I'm literally on death's door. And that's so unfair because even Michael would be like hey, and I'm kind of like hey, at least you're going hot.
Speaker 4:Hey, Ashley would go out hot.
Speaker 3:She'll be like oh, I mean literally in the Monica from Friends situation. I will have my robe on, my hair will be just looking like I don't know what happened and I will have that zingzy voice and, yeah, mike will be like, hey, okay, so I have a question.
Speaker 4:Okay so when you are in school, did you dress up in pinhole makeup every day, and like you know what I mean Dress up in pinhole makeup every day before you left the house. Oh gosh.
Speaker 3:I feel I don't feel like I.
Speaker 2:I bet Ashley did.
Speaker 3:I was like, I feel like I did. I can't necessarily remember, I mean cause there was a big thing, like in the early nineties, like wearing like boxer shorts and a like sweatshirt and stuff. So I would do that. But yeah, more than likely you were allowed to go.
Speaker 5:Yeah, yes, no dress code.
Speaker 3:Well, but I mean in college, but actually we we actually did that in high school, so it would have been like 88 or 89. I don't even know what we had going on that day, but it was like no, I literally wore my really good friend's boxer shorts and a sweatshirt and my high top Reeboks, that's so cool Because. I was so cool.
Speaker 2:But I will have to say I do think that I always would have had my hair done and like makeup.
Speaker 4:I feel like you just like going to the airport. You're not going in your like.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, you're going in like.
Speaker 4:So I feel like that's the way we were, Like we would go every day, Like if I went to cheer practice I would be dressed up with makeup.
Speaker 4:But now it's like, it's so funny, Like this generation it is bizarre when you're like when she's cheering and she goes to her games, she's like I'll make up. And then when she goes to class, it's just like, but we want to look the same in every environment. Does that make sense? No, totally. If I get up to brush my teeth, I want to look like I am in full makeup going to brush my teeth. It's so funny.
Speaker 4:It's like they can look one way when they're going out on the party, they're like oh my God, like I heard, and then you see her like in real life. They're like oh my God, yes, but I think that they are so different with their makeup.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, that's such a good point Going to class. But like I feel like every time I went to school I was like well, I think that thousand percent I'll be in four, four and a half inch heels.
Speaker 4:I have never flown anywhere in my entire life and honestly, I've been on so many flights lately and I think about you. I'm like, oh gosh, ashley would be here and like like dressed up.
Speaker 3:I'd be like everybody would be like oh my. God, look at this girl. She's abnormally tall, because with like four or five inch heels I'm like a good six four, six five, but a thousand percent I am looking at people with like flannel pajamas and slippers and no makeup.
Speaker 4:And they look like they just like woke up and like rolled out to the airport and I'm like, wow, it's very different than it used to be. Oh, yeah, no.
Speaker 3:I've. I've taken that from like when we would fly in the eighties like my. It was like, literally my dad would be in like khakis a sport coat. I mean it was like it was like a super big deal and I have never given up on that.
Speaker 5:So I mean you're so good Cause I just feel the planes are so dirty that they don't. I shouldn't give them my nice clothes, Like do you know what I mean? Like I think years ago, in the 80s and 90s, it was such a luxury to travel and it was, and it was.
Speaker 3:And it was, and it was, it was, it was, it was, it was. Yeah, no, it really was.
Speaker 5:But now like you're sitting down, you're picking up goldfish crackers off the and whatever else definitely getting smaller, like, or I'm getting bigger.
Speaker 3:I mean okay, I have to say cause. I mean it takes an act of God which, at this point in our lives, as we all talked about our pelvic floor and yes, act of God does happen, yeah, especially if it's like over three hours you're just going to have to release. Ashley has to go to the bathroom, and again, it's not like I'm a short person, nope, but I become like a gymnast, like trying to maneuver in there.
Speaker 2:You have to be I totally agree, Lisa.
Speaker 3:I feel like that they have.
Speaker 1:They're so much smaller they are.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like they put two rows in and cut back the bathroom.
Speaker 5:Try to change a baby's nappy in their diaper.
Speaker 2:Absolutely not. It's the mile high club. A myth, then, because I don't.
Speaker 3:I can't even fit in there myself, for me like for me and my husband. I mean he's six five and I'm, and again with heels, and we all know that I fly in heels, so I'm a good six four.
Speaker 3:I would be a world class gymnast If I cause, I will tell you like there was one time like probably, like I don't know, it had to have been a couple of years ago and Michael and I would be joking about it or whatever. We've been together like since the beginning of Christ, but we joke about it and like. So now, like every so often, if I have to go to the bathroom, you know I will literally like I don't know if anyone can hear outside the bathroom, but I'm giggling because I'm like I cannot pull my pants down myself in this super tiny room so how do these people have sex in here?
Speaker 5:Like I don't think they do anymore.
Speaker 4:So they were bigger bathrooms back in the day oh yeah, they're so small, but it's so funny because now I get on a plane I'm like, oh, yay, I'm on the aisle so small, but it's so funny Cause now I get on a plane I'm like, oh, I want the aisle. I used to be like I want this, like the window seat. No, now I'm like I don't want to have to ask to go to that I can get up again.
Speaker 3:But Michael and I always sit side by side, so there's that.
Speaker 2:But if you're in a three seat, we know who's flying first class, so we just sit side by side.
Speaker 5:That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:Thank you.
Speaker 4:He flies our plane, so I'll tell you how my flight story where the girl next to me would not get off the phone. Oh yes, and we had to come back and deboard the plane.
Speaker 3:I would be so pissed off.
Speaker 4:At literally midnight and I'm like, oh my God.
Speaker 2:And she's like.
Speaker 4:And literally after they told her like hey, okay, we're turning around Cause you're not respecting the rules, and then she refused to go off a plane, so we all had to deplane. That's crazy At midnight.
Speaker 3:I'm telling you, entitlement is such an illness and there's such assholes.
Speaker 4:If they tell you to go off the phone, just go off the phone. Just hang up the phone Just be.
Speaker 3:She was talking to like a boy, about like what's now it's because she has absolutely no empathy and she's just an asshole.
Speaker 4:I would never. My parents would literally hang me oh my gosh. Probably in the airport. Can you imagine it would hang me in the airport?
Speaker 3:Yeah, if you're just like, no, I'm not going to get off home oh we're good.
Speaker 5:I do feel that behavior has gotten really bad on planes, I agree.
Speaker 3:Oh, I do feel really bad for the stewardess, Like, yeah, I've heard so many stories from them Cause like a lot of not a lot, but I've had several over the years that have like worked at the store with me when they were going through college and they are, yeah, they fly now and their stories and it's shocking how absolutely just entitled and entitled and there's just like almost no soul for this behavior and how they treat people that they feel I don't know who knows, but I don't know who raised those little nightmares.
Speaker 5:You can really judge character by the way they treat A thousand percent On waitresses you can always tell someone's character is how they treat.
Speaker 3:Yeah, a thousand percent, lisa.
Speaker 4:I read something on people. I think I don't know if we talked about this, but there was a guy that was sitting next to a girl and she was like a little bit heavier, and he was like, oh my gosh, I'm sitting next to this, like that girl does it like went off, like was going off on her, and the guy behind could read what he was saying and he literally said let's switch seats. And the guy was like why do you want to switch seats with me? He's like because I read what you just read about her and she read what you read about her and she's crying and I want to switch seats so I can like be there to comfort her. I mean, how do people just not have souls?
Speaker 3:So I can like be there to comfort her. I mean, how do people just not have souls, like seriously, how do you like talk bad about somebody like to your person. Because you know it's not like. He's like some supermodel oh yeah, not that that would even justify it but you know that he's some kind of miserable human being who's probably just like. It's not like he's some amazing specimen.
Speaker 4:But to read somebody write something awful about you, you specimen. To read somebody write something awful about you, you haven't interacted. They don't know you.
Speaker 3:They don't know like anything, like how are you but that's like, yeah, like how do you like that's something that you feel that? You have the right to write exactly like there's no self awareness and again, there's just no empathy I know I mean, I mean, why are we to this point in our lives that we're like just kind of looking around us and we're like this is a cesspool of nonsense?
Speaker 4:I think it's just so easy to voice your issues, concerns, voice whatever over like text or like Instagram or Facebook, without it being like you're not looking in the face of the person saying like, hey, you know, you're not calling somebody a fatty or whatever. Can you imagine back in?
Speaker 3:the 80s and early 90s and mid 90s, before all of this stuff happened, if you looked at someone and was like, oh, I can't sit next to you because you're overweight Like, can you even imagine?
Speaker 2:No Ever.
Speaker 3:Because before it came out of your mouth, you would be like that's not the thing to say. That's not the thing to say, that's not right. Where's some self-awareness?
Speaker 4:But it's cowardly to hide behind a phone.
Speaker 3:Oh, it's so disgusting. Just this world, the delusion. There is not enough Tito's to heal the cesspool of nonsense. Just like reading. Cause trust me, I'm trying and it's not working.
Speaker 4:It's about Diddy and everybody else and we're like the news Because, trust me, I'm trying and it's not working Just like reading the news about Diddy and everybody else and we're like, how did?
Speaker 1:this happen.
Speaker 4:How is this happening? This is just ridiculous.
Speaker 3:I mean, it's like we've said so many times If we wake up and realize that we're in some type of bad B movie, I would not be surprised, like the Truman Show, but even a worse version of the Truman Show, way worse.
Speaker 4:This cannot be our reality. I don't want to be a part of it. Every day is something new. I always tell my clients I'm like just don't watch the news.
Speaker 5:If it's bothering you, just don't turn it off, just turn it off.
Speaker 3:Well, that is true, you do have the power to just turn it off the crazy thing is is like I've turned it off, but it's still it's. You still see nonsense on a daily basis.
Speaker 5:We're dealing with people all the time. Everyone here is dealing with people Customer service in some capacity.
Speaker 3:And so like cause that's how I was too, Like I have gone completely, like I don't watch the news I don't listen to, like I listened to my eighties Makes me, it takes me back to a really nice place. That's why, but yeah, you still have to deal with like that entitlement and I really do think that it's like, it's like a sin to be honest. Like it needs to be one of the commandments Like don't be entitled, don't be a dick, right?
Speaker 5:Yeah, don't be a dick.
Speaker 4:I have a shirt that says that.
Speaker 5:Oh my God, I wear it on a regular basis, alrighty guys, we might need to make our own t-shirts.
Speaker 3:Don't be a dick. And we're going to put them on the website and we're going to sell them. She already does. Well, I want it to be us.
Speaker 5:So like don't be a dick. Middle-aged says be a dick. Middle-aged says middle age. Yes, exactly, yes, be a dick, that is so. Yeah, that actually quite a lot under my breath.
Speaker 3:Oh, you're such a dick. How do you? Yeah, but isn't it like the facial expressions like I love? Have you guys seen those memes from schitt's creek? I freaking love I love schitt's creek, but like how they like their facial expression.
Speaker 4:She can get away with saying everything I know, I know and I just feel like that's kind of like we think that we're well.
Speaker 3:We all know that I'm not incognito because, like the first three seconds, I'll like cross my face. You're going to know exactly what I'm thinking. But yeah, no, I've got a good show face, I can do. I've heard this for a bit I kind of given up on it.
Speaker 4:But you have such good empathy. So when you read stuff that bothers you, like, how does it resonate? Cause like like even us talking about, even before we went on about all this stuff going on with like Diddy and stuff like, does it not just?
Speaker 5:Yeah, I don't know Like I think I've gotten so used to reading different things, even about like even, you know, even down to reviews when you used to shows you just read really awful things or like YouTube comments, like that was the first thing that. So I'm very I'm actually very good at kind of shutting out toxicity. I'm pretty good at that but I'm also very I can be very obsessive, so I like there's a so's like an anonymous Irish dance board Anything anonymous you already know, but this is horrific Like it's absolutely horrific.
Speaker 5:I've seen things about my husband. I've seen things about my kids on it. I was like awful things and I used to read it just to make sure that there was nothing about them and then I went, why am I doing this? Like yeah, you have to stop. So I'm pretty good at kind of drawing a line and I'm the same with people I can like I can distance I can actually close the door and it doesn't, and I'll never feel bad about the person, but I'm just like it's over.
Speaker 5:I need to stand up. It's over for me. And if it's over for me, it's over for me. Yeah, there's no going back. Won't remember why I closed the door on you, but I'll know I did.
Speaker 4:I'll feel but I won't know why. No, you're right, I had a client who tried. That's where my memory's really good.
Speaker 4:She was doing modeling and she was like okay, so I'm doing this modeling. And she would go on like her on Instagram, facebook, whatever. And it would be like, oh, everybody was so positive, but there was like these three people and she could say exactly what they said verbatim. And I'm like, okay, this is where you have to say like the majority says this and these people say that, but it's so hard to do, that you can't absorb it.
Speaker 5:Yeah, and I think the things people often say about you are sometimes the things you think about yourself. Anyway, do you know the way? And somebody kind of points them out, so you kind of go, that's exactly the way. No, I think it comes from a point of insecurity.
Speaker 3:I mean, that's what makes us human, and so I think that those when you see, but again when I go back to anonymous, if you can't say it with your name- then it's just BS.
Speaker 4:But even when they say it with their names, like if it's on like Twitter or Instagram or whatever you're like, okay, well, I don't know this person, but they're like literally cutting me to the core, no, but I think that and that what Lisa said is so valid, like if, if they were saying something that you knew were like whatever, like that's insanity and you just move past.
Speaker 3:But if it hits something because we all do have insecurities and it doesn't, it doesn't have to make sense to other people. It's like it's our journey and whatever. But if they any any way, nick, that little insecurity is when that starts to blossom. I mean, and that's just. I mean again, it's just us being human, but my God, they're just such.
Speaker 4:And I I feel like for you too, it's like going from, like people coming at you or saying things about you, versus your kids.
Speaker 2:That's a whole different level.
Speaker 3:It's a whole different level. It's a lake, mama bear.
Speaker 4:Oh, that is is that is a legit we're all the trash about our kids. So how do you, how do you deal with that?
Speaker 5:because you're looking at well again, we were saying when they're anonymous stuff, it's never true anyway so yeah, they're, just they're trolls, they're just trolls, so that kind of thing.
Speaker 5:But you do, I like I think you always want to defend your kids, or I feel like go the opposite though with the kids sometimes. So if somebody says something that isn't true about them, I make I like I probably get overly sensitive. Go, no, no, you can't do that. You have to like to a point that they can't actually be themselves. Maybe sometimes I'm like, no, don't do that. Or or like always look like you're happy. Or and then I'm like why, why bother? Like it doesn't matter because you can still be the nicest kid in the world.
Speaker 3:Because they're just miserable people out there and negative will always try and bring out negative.
Speaker 4:Well, and they don't really know your kids. That's the thing they don't know you.
Speaker 3:They're sitting on a couch. They're like oh look at this they probably haven't spoken to someone face-to-face in 20 years.
Speaker 2:Well, first of all, they're known enough to even be on a forum, so that's kind of cool right there. Well, there's that, they're talking about it. They weren't.
Speaker 4:This is so funny. When I was a news reporter, I used to go and listen to the voicemails. This is probably going to be bad, but I used to go. There's no such thing there. Yeah, they're like oh, I don't like her shirt, why does she wear that color dress? Her hair doesn't look good today and I'm like it wasn't about the productivity, like what I was saying.
Speaker 3:It's all visual, it's all superficial.
Speaker 4:I don't like her hair, I don't like her dress. Why is she standing like that? Why is she standing over this half of the map but not that half of the map?
Speaker 3:Because I was doing weather and I the map because I was doing weather and I'm like, oh wow, this is like not even about anything I'm doing, like I can't win. Can you imagine like so now it's like tenfold, right, yeah, but just think about like okay, so the four of us? We wouldn't even really think about that if we were watching the news cast. So, like think about that person and their mindset, that that's what they feel justified, you would be surprised.
Speaker 4:No, and I mean I'm sure I don't like her outfit. She's showing too much of this. She's doing this. I'm sure it's just so ridiculous.
Speaker 3:Ridiculous entitled to sit there and judge someone that is giving the news or the weather, or singing or whatever we're doing, and is judging, but based on something that's not even relevant to what they're doing.
Speaker 4:Well, and you're 21 years old, you're a perfectionist and you're on a newscast at 21,.
Speaker 3:You're like oh gosh which is huge Like that in itself is so amazing.
Speaker 4:Like, listen to everything and you're like what can I control? Oh gosh, they don't like my hair, they don't like my makeup, they don't like my shirt, they don't like when I wear blue, they don't like I mean that's why I'm.
Speaker 5:How do you make everybody happy? It plays into your head until you get to a certain age that you can. That's what I was like. You can clap back and I did it once I've only done it once.
Speaker 2:I was not able to do that back then. But, yes, no, you wouldn't.
Speaker 5:You try and change yourself then and you're going. Why am I doing that?
Speaker 1:Because then you're going to make somebody else say like oh, I'm sorry, I would prefer her in blue. I want her to stand on that side of the stage, but I do think right.
Speaker 3:As we've said so many times, that middle ages, like that's one of the things, one of the many things, but one of the top things that I'm so thankful for is I don't care.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I will hear some comments and there's moments where I'm like but when I wake up the next day I'm like no, I know exactly who I am and I'm not going to make everybody happy and I'm not going to look. I mean, of course people are going to say things, but that's the blessing Cause. When you're young like you, don't have that confidence.
Speaker 4:And I feel so bad for our kids now because they get it so much worse than when we grew up.
Speaker 2:I think you have to be like at a point to where you can kind of balance, like obviously you want to be able to hear input, you know, cause we do do things wrong. You want to be able to hear input, you know, because we do do things wrong. But as far as like somebody being in front of what you're wearing your hair- yeah, that's constructive.
Speaker 1:That's not confident, that's somebody not confident in themselves.
Speaker 3:But how did you do?
Speaker 2:that Confident people aren't going to bash on.
Speaker 4:No, a thousand percent, nope, but I'd love to know how you dealt with it, because I was like at a small. You know what I'm wearing and I'm like, oh gosh, I'm on the news. This is ridiculous, but how did you deal with that?
Speaker 5:There was two incidents Like so. One was in Celtic Woman, where we used to meet and greets after every show, but there was five girls at the time. So if you were doing a meet and greet after the show, people would pay extra for a meet and greet, but when there's five girls, five.
Speaker 5:Irish chatty girls. Those meet and greets could go on forever and you could go into some places and you'd have 100 people or you could have 115. You've already done a two and a half hour show. Right, it was exhausting. So what we did was we started like two girls and then the next time three girls, yeah. So anyway, I was on this meet and greet one night and this man walked in. He looked at me and he went not you again. I was looking for Maraid and I looked at him and I meant not you again. I thought George.
Speaker 3:Clooney would be here.
Speaker 5:I was just so pissed off I was like, oh my God, you actually think I want to be sitting here with you as well.
Speaker 3:And then I was like you paid to be here.
Speaker 5:But then the second time. The second time was actually worse because I was older and I just moved to Peachtree City and I was the mascot for the Peachtree City 4th of July parade. Yeah, now, I hate things like this. So I really really, contrary to popular belief, I don't like to be in the spotlight at all. So like, I don't like being, I just don't hate it. I hate it. I like I'll run from the photos. A pure bar, I like, I just don't, I don't want to be in the middle of anything. So, anyway, but I agreed to do it because I kind of felt browbeaten into doing it. I did not want to do it at all, so I was already a mess.
Speaker 5:I had just had Harry, so Harry was about a year old and we had just opened the voice academy, so it was a good business kind of opportunity. So I had to go find something red. I hate red, so I had to go find some red anyway. So I found this lovely red dress. As much as like I don't like wearing red dresses. So there's a picture of me standing beside the car and a photo, and I posted it on my Facebook page. And this man and I don't. It was already in the horrors. It was an awful day. Didn't want this man went. Oh, the southern cooking is obviously working wonders on her and I was still nursing at the time, so my boobs were massed, and it's my fourth child.
Speaker 5:I hadn't lost the baby weight or whatever, not that that's an excuse. So anyway, boy did he get. He got a page log essay from me. I am so good for you. And of course he was this big, fat, roundy old man that I'd never even heard of before, so he'd never even like he'd never been to my algorithm.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'd never seen him before. Never followed you.
Speaker 5:So I basically went through like pouring my heart not pouring my heart and soul out but I was like, look, you got me and I'm really strong and I'm really confident and this didn't bother me. But I do want you to know that if you do this to somebody else, this could be detrimental to somebody else. Don't be a dick. And basically that was the quote.
Speaker 3:I'm telling you we're going to guys, we're going to have t-shirts.
Speaker 5:Don't be a dick, he responded I felt like such a tool afterwards because he responded. He meant, oh wow, I can't believe you replied. Michelle Obama and Beyonce didn't reply what I said to them.
Speaker 3:Oh, I was like oh, but that was such a waste.
Speaker 4:That's the problem with trolls, Well but as a psychologist, people like and I know this they hold on, like they can tell me everything negative said to them ever, ever in their lifetime. But the good thing is I'm like okay, well, what teacher, what person said anything good to you? They're like I don't know, because the good just goes in and out. No, but that's so true. It's like in customer service.
Speaker 3:Someone will post about a negative experience someplace. Oh, trust me, but you could have 20 positives, yeah, and that's fine. People don't post about it. But you had a pod like they had a positive expense experience but if they have a negative, it is like they will jump down your throat.
Speaker 4:I think I've realized that I don't know if you know this and you guys the same way, but people who are negative, they're going to post and people who had positive experiences they because that's the world that they choose to live in.
Speaker 3:If they want to see positive, then that's their normal, that's their life, and if someone lives in negativity, then that's their life and negativity will, then it cause negativity. Kind of wants to be at the forefront, like they want to be the one speaking and expressing and drawing attention to the negativity where positivity is. That's just the world I live in and I love it and I think they're fabulous and that was a great like I loved that dinner, but I don't need to post about it because it's just fabulous.
Speaker 4:I agree and that's why I look at like when I look at reviews, even for my company, I look at Google reviews, I'm like, okay, well, people who are negative they're.
Speaker 2:Oh, this was like they were five minutes late or whatever.
Speaker 3:It was give them rainbows and unicorns every single day, delivered by Santa and the elves, and they will absolutely rip you apart.
Speaker 2:Have you ever looked? If you see a negative review of a business and look at, you can look and see that person's Google reviews and they're usually negative. But a thousand percent you're right.
Speaker 4:But people don't look at that and they're just like oh wow, this place, yeah, and you're like oh yeah, I know.
Speaker 3:I just I do hope that more people really think twice about and I'm not saying that negative reviews are not valid. I think that there are some that are but come from a place of like let's just look in and get some more information and let's not just take this one thing, because if you've had a good review posted yeah, nine times out of 10, that per like.
Speaker 1:You could never make them happy, and I'm not just saying that, because. I'm in customer service.
Speaker 3:It's just, I've been doing this for so long that you have to like I wish that more people took the reviews and like just did their research, or like tried to go and get their own experience from it and not just be like, well, I'm not going to go there because that's what this person said. That person is probably a walking nightmare.
Speaker 4:And the people that post are the negative ones. It's like people had the best experience ever.
Speaker 3:It's people who are like oh, this is because I think sometimes, when you go someplace and it's so amazing, you just think that that's where they are and they're so great and you're like my God, this place is fantastic. You don't think, oh, I've got to let every single person know in the world which the positive reviews are fantastic, but. I just wish that more people did research because a lot of those negative reviews are.
Speaker 5:I actually never read reviews on anywhere and sometimes we'll get reviews and we're like you weren't even at our business ever. So I have no idea. I had one as well. I remember one negative review who?
Speaker 2:are you yeah?
Speaker 3:They're going to review you because you didn't give them their way. Like I've gotten that a couple of times where, like they want to leave a really nasty review, but it was because we didn't give in to their demands, and I'm a firm believer that you don't make exceptions. You treat everybody the same. So scream and yell at a 19 year old is not going to get you your way.
Speaker 3:And then they leave a nasty review and you're just like okay, but it's not in my policy. It never has been, no, ever. There are rules, right.
Speaker 4:Right, so just follow the rules. It's all good. When I first had my first job.
Speaker 2:I was Right. Just follow the rules, it's all good.
Speaker 4:When I first had my first job, I was 15. I worked at Macy's and I worked in the like hosiery department and this lady comes back in and she's like oh, I need to return these pantyhose because they were like ripped.
Speaker 3:And so I was like oh, okay, yes, ma'am, how can, and so I opened up the pantyhose and they have like yeah, I used to put, like red, yeah, the nail polish just stopped the run.
Speaker 4:There was red nail polish everywhere and I'm like I'm sorry, ma'am, you're like I'm sorry, we don't sell red. I can't return these because they have red nail polish everywhere.
Speaker 3:Right, they've been worn multiple times.
Speaker 4:And she's like I didn't do that. They came like that. I was like, okay, ma'am, I'm so sorry I have to call my manager. So I call my manager and I'm like thinking, yes, you know how. You're like yeah, and the manager's like, okay, yes, ma'am, we'll take these back. And I literally looked at her and I was like you are the devil, yeah like.
Speaker 3:It's the exact reason that I have never I've like now polished on the pantyhose.
Speaker 4:I kid you not, this is a true story. And I'm like, and to that day I was like okay, I just give up.
Speaker 3:And I tell my girls all the time and I don't know if they're listening to this, but if you are now you know why I've said this is because when you make exceptions that have, there's no rules.
Speaker 1:Like. You can like if you make exceptions.
Speaker 3:There actually is no rules and there's no standard, and there's no boundaries.
Speaker 2:We learned our lesson in parenting with that.
Speaker 4:That's what I say to my parents all the time.
Speaker 3:My girls, know when they say what our policies are, and someone will always say I would like to speak to your manager or whatever. When I say the exact same thing and that's what I always tell people is like the thing is you would hate me more if you're on the other side of this and that I didn't let you return this. And then you came in and you heard me and you saw that I did return something very similar, exactly.
Speaker 3:I was like that's actually the worst customer service ever is when you pick and choose who you think is more important than the rules.
Speaker 2:Or who's the loudest, who's the rudest?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean if I was to ever and I've said this so many times over the years if I was to ever which I'm not, but if I was to ever make an exception, it would be for the sweet person to be like I'm so sorry, I didn't realize that was your policy. I didn't read my receipt. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Okay, thank you. That's the person. If I was to do it, that I would do it for, other than the one who's cussing out a 19 year old because they wouldn't return something, because it had been worn, the tags are off, they don't have a receipt.
Speaker 3:With red fingernail polish. Right With red fingernail, polish and literally is having a conniption fit on a person who's just there trying to get through college, yeah Well, and for your people.
Speaker 4:I mean, goodness, like you're there getting paid, whatever, but like you're there to like, support the rules. So then, if, like, they're supporting the rules, and you come up and you're like, oh yeah, we're taking, it back Like what does that tell them?
Speaker 3:They have no faith in the company.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Like it's like people in general like the rules should be followed and, as we all know, right, the rules are not in this society. So don't be a dick. I am telling you.
Speaker 3:If I could put that, if I could sell that in the store, I would make the biggest display, front and center.
Speaker 4:Ashley, we're making shirts that we're gonna sell at our store.
Speaker 5:I wish Trish's graphics. I'm telling you just about to. Oh my god, it's going to be seriously hashtag don't be a dick.
Speaker 4:Our personal lizard ticket. It's gonna be there. We are not going to abbreviate.
Speaker 3:It is going to be spelled out boldly Don't be a dick.
Speaker 2:I picture like asterisks of your. You're like going on full on D, I, z, k. Oh, I might even have.
Speaker 3:I might even have some emojis, yeah. Screaming one that has the blanked out.
Speaker 2:I love it Don't be a dick.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, I love it. Don't be a dick. Oh my god, no, I literally just want don't be a dick.
Speaker 2:Okay, we just.
Speaker 5:That's our first merch guys okay, I'll wear my WDick shirt next week for you.
Speaker 4:I am telling you hey you need to sell them in your store because I'm telling you they won't. I know, I know I was like, I am a franchise and I think the franchisor might have a problem.
Speaker 3:but can I do it on a table out front of my store? I can do it. I can do it In the park.
Speaker 1:I think, why can we?
Speaker 3:not post a t-shirt on our website after this Um, I'm envisioning it already.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you after this post, don't be a dick.
Speaker 3:I'm telling you like after this Middle-aged don't be a dick, I'm telling you like after this post. I agree. Let's just let's do it 100%. Let's sell it on the website. We would be surprised it's going to take over the world. I agree.
Speaker 5:It's going to change. We're retiring off our. Don't be a dick, it doesn't work. When I wear it, though, I have to maybe wear it. I saw it, I'll wear it. I was like Lisa.
Speaker 3:I was like I will totally wear it. I can't imagine wearing it In my stilettos my super long hair.
Speaker 4:Don't be a dick, They'll be like.
Speaker 3:I get it. I will absolutely freaking wear this t-shirt.
Speaker 4:Especially in couples therapy, I can be like, oh, I'm wearing this shirt, oh my.
Speaker 3:God, I'm going to, I'm going to, actually I'm so proud. Yes, yes, we are doing this. We are actually going to sell these t-shirts.
Speaker 2:We've already got that for this one. Don't be a dick.
Speaker 3:Okay, I love it, let's go I love how our, our dogs just go in such random Cause. I mean, what people don't realize is that before we came on the air, we're like cause we guys, we talked for like an hour and a half, two hours two hours catching up and chit chatting and we come on the air and we're like what are we going to talk about? And now we have an entire merch line.
Speaker 2:So fabulous. It's why I love you guys, so much.
Speaker 3:Yes, okay, all right, tricia, what do you? I feel like you want to say something.
Speaker 2:I'm playing it in my head, don't be a dick.
Speaker 3:I'm just designing. Right now we're doing it, I literally cannot wait.
Speaker 2:I swear to God.
Speaker 3:I'm going to wear it proud. I cannot wait. I think the world needs more t-shirts that say don't be a dick.
Speaker 4:I agree.
Speaker 3:And that way, if someone comes up and is actually a dick, just your shirt.
Speaker 5:You don't even have to engage. Well, that's what I do in my house. I literally wear it when they come home from dance and I stand at the front door. I just go.
Speaker 2:Have you ever seen speaking of like telling people what you think, those like lights you put in the car that can be like it's like as a hand and you hit, so it's like a you put on like the back of your car and it on a remote in your car so you can like get some peace sign thumbs up bird.
Speaker 3:Okay, that would be dangerous for me.
Speaker 2:I should just be hitting birds.
Speaker 3:I would just be kind of just tell everybody to F off, like seriously.
Speaker 4:So I have a funny one. So for my client she was. I was like so what are you going to be for Halloween? She's like I'm going to be an a-hole and she's like I'm going to be an a-hole.
Speaker 1:I was like oh okay, how are you going to be an a-hole?
Speaker 4:She's like I'm just going to put in a mirror, I'm going to wear a mirror, I'm going as a mirror and I'm like, oh my God, who are you? And she's like I'm an a-hole.
Speaker 3:I'm you and I was like, oh, you've thought through that one. Yeah, okay, okay.
Speaker 2:All right, wow, did Halloween come from Ireland? Yes, did it really yeah.
Speaker 5:It was a pagan celebration. I was just like, is it the Druids? Yeah, yeah, it was the pagan. Yeah, it was Well done. No, I think it was before. The Druids still is a pagan celebration, which is kind of crazy here in the South, right.
Speaker 3:Where children are out like getting candy and like dancing.
Speaker 5:So we would have like in Ireland we would do the same thing, but we didn't like. When I was growing up, you didn't really get that much candy. You'd get a few, but you'd get fruit as well, and you'd get you know the, you know the nuts you get in Five Guys.
Speaker 3:I haven't been to Five Guys.
Speaker 5:I don't been to the five guys. I don't know what you call them in like forever, just peanuts.
Speaker 3:Oh the peanuts, like the boiled peanuts.
Speaker 5:We'd get those and you'd get money sometimes, and then we'd go home and have a party.
Speaker 4:So that was so funny because I was in Australia.
Speaker 5:They don't celebrate us. They do now, but they didn't, and there was one or two people and they were like. I was like oh, we were there for halloween one year. I'm here. They're like what are you?
Speaker 4:talking about. I was like it's halloween okay, so for the pagans.
Speaker 3:So like, how did that become a celebration? Like what is the pagans like? What are they celebrating?
Speaker 5:no, I was actually. I should really do my homework on it, because I'm gonna totally go down this okay deep yeah because tomorrow is All Souls Day.
Speaker 3:Right? No, I've heard of that, but I've heard it from New Orleans, so I had no idea that it came from Ireland.
Speaker 5:Also, I'm wondering if it might have been a celebration of the dead on the 31st and then the first was All Souls Day, or they murdered people on the 31st. This is how dark I'm going that they may have murdered people on the 31st. This is how dark I'm going that they may have murdered people right on the 31st and then the next day was also.
Speaker 3:We say all saints days, but it's also on the first yeah. On the first yeah, because what did I? Well, yeah, I'm gonna have to like look into that, like what is what? Did the pagans like? Who do they worship? Like was nobody, nobody pagans see, that's what I'm.
Speaker 5:Yeah, they don't worship anything.
Speaker 3:No, no, but then how did they worship Halloween?
Speaker 5:They didn't. I think it was like I don't know. I don't know whether I'm making it up and someone's going to tell me I'm wrong, probably, and I probably have.
Speaker 3:But we're wrong about a lot of stuff, but I don't know, they may have burned the Christians you all had no Halloween.
Speaker 5:Well, we always had Halloween in Ireland, yes, always. Halloween was huge, oh really. And then on the 5th, and that's where, like all the costumes came.
Speaker 3:So you dressed up in something different. We always dressed up. Yeah, what did you dress?
Speaker 5:up as Madonna every year. Oh, that was such a good one I was like Madonna for everything.
Speaker 3:I was like Madonna. That was not.
Speaker 2:Halloween for me.
Speaker 5:I was like just cool.
Speaker 4:So, it was always big, halloween was always big there, huge, oh yeah, yeah, always huge Was it everywhere in Europe?
Speaker 5:No, I don't think so, and I don't even know if it's that big in England, because it was not in Australia at all. No, no, no, I know. Yeah, we were growing up, because on the 5th of November they have Guy Fawkes Night, which is a bonfire night.
Speaker 3:So he blew up the House of Parliament. Yeah, he was the one that blew up.
Speaker 5:Yeah, yeah, yeah, so they have fireworks and bonfires that night, but fireworks are banned in.
Speaker 4:Ireland, but y'all did Halloween. I'm glad halloween yes oh yeah cool.
Speaker 5:We always did halloween. Yeah, bonfire actually. Now that's a question I have for all my fellow americans here what makes fireworks patriotic?
Speaker 4:I think it's like the yeah, the whole, like that's how they like.
Speaker 3:They like when they would burn the ships or they would blow up the armories and stuff like that, when there was a wind, there was a big. I think we should know this actually.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean I, but I do feel like like they would like when the opposing armies, armories and stuff like that, when there was a wind, there was a big.
Speaker 3:I think we should know this actually, but I do feel like they would when the opposing armies would come through, in whatever side you were on here, you would blow up the armories. That was your celebration of taking the person that other side down. You would blow up all of their armories.
Speaker 4:I don't think it was a firework. I it was a cannon more likely, but that's what the fireworks are supposed to represent.
Speaker 5:I think because I was on one of the local pages and they were like this is so unfair to the dogs, which is true, it is so unfair to the poor dogs, but then all these people like are coming. It really is patriotic.
Speaker 3:This is who we are absolutely medicated, yeah, like forever, and like it really is traumatic, and also like I mean you hear about, like the PTSD and the servicemen and stuff but it, yeah, like it's, it's uh, I don't know. I mean, I've always heard it was based on the opposing army would come through and blow up the armory of the person that they were taking over. So it would take all of their like their ammunition and their all that stuff out and it would be these huge explosions.
Speaker 4:We do so much PTSD in my office EMDR brain spawning. That's why I I mean we did it when the kids were little and we thought it was great until.
Speaker 3:I like I did a little bit more research, and especially with the animals, and then, yes, the, the servicemen and first responders that have ptsd it's, it's like so traumatic, yeah, for like just so people know like emdr and brain spotting are like the two, like number one things to help for ptsd yeah, so I just in our office, but I'm like it's really.
Speaker 4:I mean, you have to be trained to do that kind of trauma. It's like so severe.
Speaker 3:I just wish people really didn't need to do them anymore.
Speaker 4:I agree.
Speaker 3:I think for one short little moment of celebration, it does do a lot of damage. And you can celebrate whatever it is Fourth of July or whatever, especially because the animals get so you can celebrate it in so many different ways and not I'm so traditional I like.
Speaker 2:I mean, I don't even like the loud noise that I have to cover my ears, but I think, like I think it's good like that day yeah but like it's maybe good to like do it like kind of like a set period of time that way you know, everybody knows, this happens, it's happening and they're not going right, so they can medicate, yeah, yeah, I mean, there's some people that'll do it at like 1 and 2 am 3 am yes, I mean, it's just like it's trauma for the animals and those that suffer for like 24 to 48 hours, depending on when the holiday lands, on what that day is.
Speaker 3:So everybody out there, please be mindful. Don't be a dick. Don't be a dick. Oh my God, don't be a dick.
Speaker 5:Don't be a dick.
Speaker 4:Don't be a dick. Oh my God, don't be a dick. Don't be a dick, don't be a dick.
Speaker 2:We're making the shirts. I love it. Just cheers to that, cheers, cheers. Everybody. Don't be a dick, oh I love it.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining the ladies of the Middle Age-ish Podcast as they journey through the ups and downs of this not young but definitely not old season of life. To hear past episodes or make suggestions for future episodes, visit wwwmiddleagishcom. That's wwwmiddleageishcom. You can follow along on social media at Middle Age-ish. Also, if you have a moment to leave a review rate and subscribe. That helps others find the show show and we greatly appreciate it. Once again, thank you so much for joining us and we'll catch you in the next episode of the Middle Age-ish Podcast.
