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MIDDLE AGEish
Authentically and unapologetically keeping it real, discussing all things Middle Age (ish), when metabolism slows and confidence grows. Middle Age(ish): A time of transition from dreaming of who we will grow up to be and looking at the legacy we will leave behind. Listen to this podcast and join the hosts of Middle Age(ish) as they sit around with a glass of wine to discuss all things related to middle age with some amazing guests!
MIDDLE AGEish
Inauguration of Season 3: Lisa for President
What happens when the joys and challenges of middle age collide with summer adventures? We share the laughs and heartfelt moments of our post-summer reunion, swapping stories of sleep schedules and life updates. From Trisha's bittersweet farewell to her son heading off to the Air Force Academy to Pam's delight in her daughter's spirited cheering at UGA, our anecdotes paint a vivid picture of life's transitions.
Ever wondered why sorority rush feels like a pressure cooker compared to fraternity recruitment? We unpack the intense expectations that young women face, driven by social media and parental pressures. It’s a conversation that questions the sustainability of these standards and the materialistic culture it fosters. We dive deep into the implications for mental health, urging a shift towards valuing inner happiness over superficial metrics, and share insights on how this mindset could lead to a more fulfilling life.
As the episode progresses, we tackle themes of entitlement and politics with a touch of humor and candidness. Our light-hearted musings on running for president transition into a poignant reflection on September 11, 2001. We share personal stories of that day, honoring the heroism and unity that emerged from the tragedy. These memories serve as a reminder of the profound impact of courage and compassion, inspiring us to seek understanding and unity in today's divided world. Join us for a heartfelt exploration of life’s complexities and the bonds that hold us together.
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Welcome to the Middle Age-ish Podcast, authentically and unapologetically keeping it real, discussing all things Middle Age-ish, a time when metabolism slows and confidence grows. Join fashion and fitness entrepreneur Ashley Badowski, former Celtic woman and founder of the Lisa Kelly Voice Academy, lisa Kelly licensed psychologist and mental health expert, dr Pam Wright, and highly sought after cosmetic injector and board certified nurse practitioner, trisha Kennedy Roman.
Speaker 2:Join your hosts on the journey of Middle Age-ish. Hello everyone and welcome back to Middle Age-ish. I'm Trisha Kennedy, roman and I'm joined with my co-host, lisa Kelly, dr Pam Wright and Ashley Badowski, and we are excited to be back. It's been a little bit. We are back.
Speaker 3:Back. I know what's that song Back Again. Oh, we do need some music, that would be fun, we do. Yeah, you can, but it's been a fun summer, but I've missed you guys.
Speaker 5:I know I've missed this. I know I've forgotten how to do this.
Speaker 3:That is true, like today, I got thrown off, like, oh, I got stuff to do tonight.
Speaker 4:I'm going to be somewhere.
Speaker 5:You must have been in bed really early last night to prepare for your late night, okay.
Speaker 3:First of all, I'm in bed early every night. I wake up to 55,000 text messages from you guys. I'm like good morning.
Speaker 4:She's like a day late, that was good. Yes, I agree.
Speaker 3:Yes, fabulous. Heart, heart, heart, heart, heart, oh my God.
Speaker 2:I know what text I'm going to be said to do that? Ashley's morning text is when I'm going to bed.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, like it'll be about what?
Speaker 2:Five, 45, six o'clock I five, six o'clock, I'll start responding yeah, yeah, you're pretty much done at seven.
Speaker 3:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:We're the night owls, for sure, oh my God yeah. Well, at least I'll D and D, unless it's something important.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I'd be asleep by 10 ish. Really yeah, yeah, 10, 30 ish, yeah, unless there's a really good Netflix.
Speaker 3:I'm in like the most amazing REM sleep at 10 AMm or 10 pm. I'm like so deep into dreams I could?
Speaker 5:I actually could do that. If I didn't work so late, I could do that.
Speaker 3:I'd be asleep, and that's valid yeah.
Speaker 5:But I need to wind down.
Speaker 2:I'm a night owl, that's when my creative brain starts working.
Speaker 4:That's when I do morning stuff, like 1 am I'm like oh, oh, my God, I'm a good noon to two.
Speaker 3:I'm not a morning person and I'm not a night person, unless I'm on a girl's trip, yeah. And then you're a night person, then you can switch it up. Then I might switch it up a little bit.
Speaker 5:Oh no, I still go to bed at 10. Do you really? Yeah, yeah, I'm the worst. I leave Scott to entertain. I'm like, okay, peace out, cinderella. I have to be asleep before midnight.
Speaker 4:Okay, that's interesting, I'm going to do it too.
Speaker 2:We're the night owls I used to try not to text you guys super late, but I know you're all on, do Not Disturb anyway.
Speaker 3:I was like it doesn't matter, I don't hear anything, I'm just like I'm out.
Speaker 2:I'm so out. Yeah, you probably do wake up to some serious text tosses there.
Speaker 3:I know I mean, yeah, I'm just like okay, girls, I miss so much. I know I do feel like I missed out, but I was in dreamland. Did you all have a good summer? Yes, it just went by so fast. I know I mean, and you guys have so much to like, kind of touch base and give us info. I mean I've been an empty nester for a while. So to me it was a fabulous summer, but it was kind of just status quo for the Badoskis for sure, but you two, Trisha and Pam, let's, I mean, you guys had some big stuff going on.
Speaker 3:We did.
Speaker 2:Corbin went off to the Air Force Academy, so that was exciting. My first baby leaving the house, but he's super happy and loving it and I'm very proud of him. He looks so cute in a uniform. My goodness, he looks cute in a uniform. He does look cute, he looks so happy.
Speaker 3:I know, and that's like the biggest thing, yes, super happy.
Speaker 2:But that was definitely. I'm proud of him, but that was a big change, oh my God, the first one going.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that is hard. Yeah, that's hard on a mama's heart for sure Mine keep coming back.
Speaker 4:They do not, they do, oh my goodness, I don't think you ever really empty nest, right? No?
Speaker 5:I am Well, yeah, your boys are. Yeah, your boys are gong-gong.
Speaker 2:Ashley close that. Yes, You're out. Yeah, Like.
Speaker 3:I know like no, my boys, yeah, Steven's in Kansas city, Treson, Birmingham, and it's been that way for five years.
Speaker 5:Oh, so you're truly emptiness. Like I'm a truly I mean, I just keep adopting more deer.
Speaker 3:Oh sweet which.
Speaker 4:I know that sounds crazy, but like, seriously like.
Speaker 3:I have a deer family and my dogs, my husband is like a pet. We had that conversation that if I buy any more, I mean I go through like 300 pounds of deer corn a week. That's so sweet though, but yeah no, I'm an empty, empty, empty nester.
Speaker 2:So Pam tell us about yours.
Speaker 4:Oh my gosh, I'm never going to empty nest because now my daughter cheers at UGA, so we're going to all the away games and the home games.
Speaker 3:Not all of them, but most of them, so fun.
Speaker 4:And then my son won male best dancer. So, he's going to travel the country and world somewhat this year, so we'll be traveling back and forth and he gets to go assist all these great choreographers and like, do his solo and start working on his career as a dancer.
Speaker 3:It just truly is so amazing. Like seriously, it's a fun chapter of life.
Speaker 4:But then I think about where you are and where you are.
Speaker 3:It's like once they're like done with school and done with everything, like you really are an empty duster, yeah, but then you just travel with your hubby and you go to like fun and exciting places Like that's what my kids are like, constantly telling us, Like I cannot believe that you and dad are off this place and that place and I mean hello. So it really is.
Speaker 4:It's a fun a travel.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's a fun chapter to reconnect, cause we've talked about that so many times that, like, parenting is not easy, marriage and parenting is not easy, yeah, and so like to kind of like, have and see your kids be super successful and go on and do what they're meant to do in their life journey and then reconnecting with your spouse. I mean it does. It's like it's a gift, to be honest, because otherwise you would be super sad.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Because they are our babies and they were given to us and everything.
Speaker 4:So when you get to kind of reconnect, so it's fun, you get to just so if you become a grandparent, will you be more at home and like with a grandkid, probably?
Speaker 3:I mean, I think, so, but I also think that I would still cause. I mean, michael and I actually have that conversation, probably a couple of months ago, and no, my, not that I'm aware of. I'm about to be a grandmother, but I have no idea. I like Coco.
Speaker 2:I can see you being a Coco. I love Coco.
Speaker 3:And then my nieces call me Ashy, so I'm thinking like maybe this, but I also have learned that grandchildren actually pick your name.
Speaker 5:They do, that's true, yeah.
Speaker 3:So yeah, so I don't, I don't, but please, please don't be granny, but I mean if it is granny, I will try and be the best granny on the planet, but I'm really.
Speaker 2:I think you should be Granny Ashley.
Speaker 3:Auntie, auntie.
Speaker 4:Ashley Auntie, ashley Auntie, ashley.
Speaker 3:I know that's right, Because I mean, how can I be a grandmother when I'm 35? Exactly.
Speaker 4:That just doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3:Like turning 28, you're not a grandmother, I mean that's how I tell people I'm like my kids are 27 and 24. I mean, that's just so weird because I'm 32. I don't know how that happened.
Speaker 4:You had kids at 12.
Speaker 3:I know I mean yeah, so I'm going to be the aunt forever.
Speaker 2:If anyone's wondering if Santa Claus is coming to town, that's just Ashley.
Speaker 5:Oh, I'm sorry your jingle jangling.
Speaker 2:It's like a little tambourine Every time you talk, so when Ash is talking, she's got accompaniment of her tambourine.
Speaker 3:Okay, but you can tell that I haven't been here in a very long time because I knew this back before the rules of Santa, you need to give a good jingle.
Speaker 2:so they're aware that's a lot, that's a lot.
Speaker 3:There's some like meditation beads.
Speaker 4:Ashley, should we put you on the outfit of the day at Alabama sororities?
Speaker 3:I would love that, because you know, I love fashion, however, so I've gone down the rabbit hole. I think I've talked about reels before I'm not very into social media and. But I went down the rabbit hole of watching this reel of the outfit of the day at these sororities and how they would have this little thing and they would dissect everything that they were wearing and I mean, oh my Lord, like I don't know if I could afford all of that.
Speaker 4:That's when you realize there's an 18 year old with a better wardrobe than you.
Speaker 3:I mean seriously like I had to like kind of like rethink things, because I mean I feel like I'm fairly successful and I love fashion. But I'm like when they because they would do like a little price point, like okay, so this was my Cartier bracelet and my golden goose shoes and my Louis Vuitton purse, and they would do it and I'm like that's $2,300 for one outfit.
Speaker 5:That's crazy.
Speaker 3:For one, not even a full day, I don't think it's for one session, and I mean God love whatever their parents do. But that's insane Even for me, and I love fashion there's absolutely no way. So I think what the girls are put through with this sorority and rush and I mean. I know it makes people happy and I think that's so fantastic and you gotta go do you.
Speaker 2:But that's some crazy expectations for an 18 year old to be honest, that's when I'm really happy to be a boy mom oh, I am so happy to be a boy mom so is there nothing like that in a fraternity?
Speaker 5:it's not like no there nothing like that in a fraternity? It's not like no.
Speaker 2:Well, I haven't experienced a fraternity thing yet, because we're obviously going to Air Force Academy. But from patients and people I've talked to whose kids have gone and joined a fraternity, they're like they went to a fraternity house played some pool with them.
Speaker 3:The boys are in football. So that was their kind of fraternity.
Speaker 4:As I understand it, it's not even like a formal thing, like the rush thing. Sorry, like it's a formal for these days. And I think for the fraternities a lot of times it's just like they have some get togethers over the summer and if you get together and they like you, then they're like you go into the fall and they're like, oh, we're already full, we already have enough people. So before even people from out of state or whatever get there, they're already completely booked with their guys, Cause it's not a formal process. That's what.
Speaker 3:I understand Like it just is absolutely insanity.
Speaker 5:And who puts like all this pressure again, like we're saying it's harder for the girls, but who's like? Who's driving this pressure? Is it like competition from the girls trying to get into the sorority or is it the sorority itself going? This is what we want.
Speaker 3:I think it's a combination of both.
Speaker 4:It's a mixed, but you'd be surprised how many parents are like I want my child to be this, this or this, and I'm going to be upset if they're not.
Speaker 3:So it's the same yeah.
Speaker 5:It's like psychologically there's some parental pressure as well, because I've seen, like our local pages or friends that I know, and they're always saying do I have any friends here here, will you? Is it? What is it? What's the?
Speaker 2:right letter a recommendation for yeah.
Speaker 5:And then everybody jumps in and goes oh yeah, well, I can write one for here. And I can write well, my god, this is nuts this is quite crazy from what I.
Speaker 4:That doesn't even hold as much weight as it used to.
Speaker 2:I don't think it does. Some don't even accept it anymore.
Speaker 5:It's about popular girls, Is it just?
Speaker 2:well, I mean it's just. Or if you're Insta-famous apparently.
Speaker 5:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Social media famous. I think that that's like a thing now with everything. I think yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5:Life now with jobs, and stuff.
Speaker 3:I just feel like it's just another thing that these kids it's just setting them up for failure.
Speaker 1:Because life is not like that.
Speaker 3:If you've got an 18-year-old who's going to have an entire outfit, from their earrings to their bracelets, to their watch, to their shoes, purse $2,300 for the whole. Get up, you're 18. What is your expectation when you get out of school and you're 22?
Speaker 4:But it's so weird, like, even like in the, in the dance world, like even in other fields. I'll just say that you'll see people, and they've got, they buy followers, right, so they've got two point 1.2 million followers. Yes, so they buy followers and then you look at their reels or their likes, so they'll have, like you know, I'm just gonna make this up 800,000 followers and then you look at their reel and they've got like 200 likes and you're kind of like but you can buy it, like you can buy the blue check now next to your name.
Speaker 4:You can buy followers. I mean, you can buy anything. And so it's like, and I've known parents I will say this, I've known parents who have bought followers for their kids to make them look like they have more clout, prestige, whatever, because they think people look for that. But I'm like but here's the thing. But then you go and you've got, even if you don't show cause now you can show how many people like your stuff and are not show, but regardless like you can go on and count it number one, but if you've got eight comments and like 800,000 followers, then you know there's like a.
Speaker 3:It's just a not realistic world.
Speaker 4:And I just feel like you can buy anything.
Speaker 3:And I and I know I mean growing up, when we did I mean, obviously parents wanted you to dress nice and they you know whatever. But it's just to such an extreme, to this point, that, again, how do you create a life outside of mom and dad that supports that type of money? Right, and it's not realistic. It's not realistic and I just what does it teach them, though? It teaches them that something false matters, when that actually they'll learn a really hard lesson when they realize that that's not the that's not the case.
Speaker 5:Do people like that, though, ever learn the lesson, do they not just? Do you not feel that kind of money finds money and money makes more money Like? It's very rare that those people fall flat on their face, but it's the ordinary jazz hopes who are trying to live up to it.
Speaker 3:I feel like they might keep the facade up. But I mean, I think we've all learned in our lives that money doesn't bring happiness. And if it, if you don't find it from within, and if you don't fall on your face and have to crawl back up and learn that lesson, then who actually are you as a person?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree, and so more depression and everything, yeah, so I just I mean and and and.
Speaker 3:maybe they just go through life Like you can have great cars and you can have a beautiful home and you can have all of this stuff. But I mean, if it's not coming from within, but then that's sad too, cause then that's so many people running around that you're like, oh my God. But again I don't know how that kind of stuff, with the rush and all of that, is sustainable in setting your child up for success. I mean you can have nice things, but you have to appreciate it. You don't have to.
Speaker 4:But don't you think that's why so many people end up back at home?
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, when they're 30 and 35. Think about what kind of job you would have to have if you were so conditioned to have to have the latest handbag all like all and again. I love fashion, but you also can do it on a really great budget and still look amazing and people don't know what you spent. I just don't know. I mean, it's a very small percentage where that is sustainable and otherwise you're just miserable because you don't have it.
Speaker 3:And you're constantly judging yourself based on the next door neighbor or the pretty housewife in the neighborhood.
Speaker 2:There's always something better, always, there's always someone prettier. There's always someone richer there's always someone funnier, absolutely, you have to.
Speaker 3:And again, that's easy for us to say at our age, but I do look at those girls.
Speaker 2:I don't know. Actually you're pretty funny. Yes, you might be a top tier, I'm just an idiot, but I do look at those girls.
Speaker 3:I don't know, Ashley, you're pretty funny. You might be a top tier. I'm just an idiot, but I do. I looked at all of those reels and I it actually made me sad. It makes me sad. It makes me really sad, Cause I just know what's coming. Like that's the thing I know, what's coming for the majority of those girls, and it really it is sad.
Speaker 5:And social media and reality TV and all those kind of things just don't help they just don't help.
Speaker 3:It makes the world look like you should be Cinderella. Yeah, and that's not reality, even reality TV. We all know that.
Speaker 2:I love it.
Speaker 3:I mean I just watched the Housewives of Dubai reunion show Amazing.
Speaker 2:Well, I think it even gives us an unrealistic expectation of like how you have to work hard to get things to, or that you don't have to work hard, Even with what I do. I mean, there's there's so many people on Instagram now, you know, showing like their, their Gucci bags, stuff like that, and like there's people who want to do what we do and think you just you start it and you're there and you have to work hard and you can't. You can't just all of a sudden be at that level without working hard. It's, that's not sustainable and you gotta.
Speaker 3:And I mean I. I truly feel like the harder you work, the more that you appreciate it. If you're given something, it's easy and I just so. It just makes me sad.
Speaker 4:And again, that's coming from someone who adores fashion and but I never went through college and thought when I graduate I'm going to be where my parents are and. I don't think my parents were anywhere. Great, but I didn't expect to go into like a mansion or whatever. I just wanted to be in a one bedroom apartment struggling to make rent and figuring it out.
Speaker 3:I didn't want to like I wanted to become more successful than my parents, because, I mean, I had grown up that each generation wanted the next generation to be more successful. Right, but I didn't expect it at 25. Right, and again you.
Speaker 4:Just I think you see a lot of that.
Speaker 3:No, you do, Cause I just think again. It goes back to what Lisa said. Like the social media and everything is made to look picture perfect, women are pitted against women whether you're 18, 16, 25, 35, 55, doesn't matter. We're pitted against each other on who is better and, at the end of the day, that's the stuff that actually doesn't matter. No, which is just so crazy. So, anyway, yeah, I know my bracelets. I'm sorry, I probably need to take them off, don't I? You're like we know when you're talking.
Speaker 2:It's a cute little jingle. When they hear that, they know you're getting really emotional.
Speaker 5:Nobody understands how animated I am, but now you can tell, because I'm like and this, oh, yeah, it's, yeah, it's a sad, it's a sad state of affairs, and I think, because everything is so instant, yes, these days as well. You see it, you want it, I love it, I got it yeah, you just go, you go on and buy it. I'm totally guilty of it myself, but still, I would not, I wouldn't be guilty of kind of making a golden goose purchase once a week, like I just, I just can't justify that. And I think the older you get, maybe it's because they have nothing else to spend their money on, but I'm assuming because when they're in college maybe they're not eating, I don't know, but there's definitely wine. I mean, like, how are you affording your wine?
Speaker 3:I mean again, I think my parents were very, very generous. Nothing to this extent. My parents were very gracious, yeah, but even they would have been like what are you smoking? Oh, yeah, no, and absolutely not because I mean I wouldn't have been able to afford it on my own. I mean, are you kidding me?
Speaker 4:But I remember I said I went to college at UGA and my mom took out another job, so she worked 40 hours and then she worked a second job for like literally like 18 to 20 hours and I would be at school and think, okay, this is opposite. Be at school and think, okay, this is opposite. But my friends would want to go out to eat and I would not want to go because I felt cause me and my brother like back to back. So we were in college together for three years. So he started, I started, we're three years together and then it was after him and back then it wasn't like hope and like Zell and there was no scholarship.
Speaker 4:You're having to pay the full thing, and he went out of state and so I just remember like I would just sit there and think I'd feel so bad if my parents, like my mom, is working like 60 hours a week, yeah. I'm not going to go and like spend more money on whatever Papa John's or whatever it was back in the day, but you just feel bad.
Speaker 5:But it's like going from that to what you see now.
Speaker 4:It's a, it's a whole switch, right, yeah, it's entitlement, and I would feel awful and I didn't go out much Like I remember I'd be like, okay, I go out to dinner once every two weeks or once a month, I'm good. But I didn't want to spend their money because I knew how hard they were working and I appreciated it, of course.
Speaker 3:But that's Because you're a good human, pam, but it's just different now it, it's just different.
Speaker 5:Now it's very different now.
Speaker 3:There is an expectation, it's just expected.
Speaker 1:I think entitlement is one of the deadly sins that's just not spoken about. It's so frustrating. Yeah, to be honest.
Speaker 5:I really do.
Speaker 3:I mean, I think that entitlement is one of it should be one of the sins.
Speaker 5:But you know, what really bugs me is that we've created it in those kids.
Speaker 2:No, and that's true.
Speaker 5:We have done this and I often wonder how it's gotten to that point. Was it because of stories like yours that you're like? I don't want my kid to feel the way I felt when I was in college, jean like how have we done this? How have we missed?
Speaker 3:it, I don't know, how do we put it back in the box?
Speaker 4:But I think that's so true because I've seen parents. Lisa for president.
Speaker 3:I mean Lisa for president. I'm telling you.
Speaker 5:It's the only thing we can agree on.
Speaker 3:It's the only president we can all agree on. Can I please put me on the cabinet? I don't have to be VP, but put me on the cabinet.
Speaker 4:I still isn't. Come on, girl, let's run.
Speaker 5:I still think it would be a very good idea to have one on each side of the president and the vice president.
Speaker 3:I do agree, and I think the cabinet should be that way too.
Speaker 5:Yeah, listen, we could go on forever about this.
Speaker 3:We're not going to go down that rabbit hole yet.
Speaker 4:I was like there's not enough wine to do the drinking. Not to Lisa, but it's a November 20th.
Speaker 3:I do feel like our podcast. The week of November 5th needs to be at somebody's house and we're going to spend the night the next day. Everybody has to take off because it's going to be a play. We're going to be like Fox news and CNN.
Speaker 5:I didn't know what you were just going to say there.
Speaker 4:Yes Me too, I was like is there going to be bleep, lisa, bleep Actually?
Speaker 2:bleep. There's going to be a lot of bleeps, but that's what we've said, because we had our conversations actually before we started recording that. It's cool how we have different viewpoints and we can talk about that and get along and still be friends.
Speaker 5:Yes.
Speaker 3:But that's the way it should be.
Speaker 5:That's just the way it should be. How are people ever going to learn from each other if we all agree?
Speaker 3:on the same topic.
Speaker 5:Can you hear it?
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, Ashley is just like she's like a woman. Are you ripping over?
Speaker 4:there Is that your hip. What's going on, Ashley?
Speaker 1:I've lost weight.
Speaker 3:I'm feeling that this chair is about to like.
Speaker 1:I mean I have my my braces.
Speaker 3:At first I thought it was my bracelets and I'm like oh my gosh, you're like that woman. But then I move and I'm like why is this doing? Oh, there you go.
Speaker 5:We're back, oh yes.
Speaker 2:You know, now we probably have our listeners all going to vote on the wrong day because you were trying to tell Lisa the wrong day to vote.
Speaker 3:That's right. So the US is actually voting November 20th. That's right. So the US is actually voting November 20th. So everybody out there that might be blue November 20th.
Speaker 5:Yes, yes, I know. Yeah, you see, in Ireland we don't discuss religion or politics.
Speaker 3:Oh, I agree with that I think it is smart. It's sad that that's how it is, though. I don't know anything about politics in Ireland as a result, Because then it talks about it and that is actually a valid point, like we think it's safe now that that should be the thing, because it's gotten so heated and it's like you hate people just for, maybe, what their thoughts are or whatever, and you don't actually grow Like.
Speaker 3:I mean, lisa and I've had amazing conversations and we do differ on certain things, but it makes me think like, okay, you know what, that's actually a valid point and I just hate that. That's not where we are, like that people have like moved away from family and close friends just because of something like that, and it's just, it is. It's sad. Yeah, so everybody vote on November 20th. We are going to have ourselves a rip roaring time on November 5th. Yes, we're going to have that beep button ready Beep, beep. Yes, we all know what my favorite word is. That would be one fabulous drinking game, everybody.
Speaker 4:Yes, it would I just want people to be peaceful like no, no drama, no shootings, no over political stuff let's just all be calm and it is what it is together, yeah like.
Speaker 5:I mean, it's not like we're living on a different planet no, I was listening to the thing this morning they were talking about. You know that 23 years ago was like 9-11 and how America came together after that and it didn't matter anymore whether you were red or blue it really was. I was here for it.
Speaker 3:It was for something so tragic.
Speaker 5:It was the most amazing time to be here.
Speaker 3:It was actually so beautiful. And I was really, really proud to be in America.
Speaker 5:American. Oh wow, as you should be, it was just, I was very proud it was um. Yeah, it was a very awful. It was an awful, awful time, but also there was such a sense of hope and camaraderie and togetherness. And where were you there? I was in um, in Minneapolis downtown Minneapolis.
Speaker 4:Okay, how long had you been? I've been here a year, so what was your, what was your take on that?
Speaker 5:honestly, it was. Oh, it was so strange because it was a Monday, so when you're touring, mondays are off. So I was actually Scott had gone to play golf. This was pre cell phones as well, so I can't remember how I got in contact with him, but anyway, himself and his friend Oisin, and a few of them had gone off, probably a beeper.
Speaker 5:Yeah, probably, and I was at home. But machine and a few of them had gone off, Probably a beeper? Yeah, probably, and I was at home. But I was awake. I'm always awake early. But Monday, traditionally everybody was still asleep and I had called home and I was talking to my dad on the phone. And just as I was talking to my dad on the phone, my mom came in from our neighbors and went oh my God, planes crashed into the Twin Towers and I didn't know. So I turned on the TV CNN, I forgive you, and I was. I was watching it like live happen. Oh yeah, I was like, oh my God, I thought it was an accident.
Speaker 4:It was an accident. No, he did the first one. He thought that it was an accident. I did, yeah, I thought it was just total accident. And they were.
Speaker 2:They were reporting it as an accident.
Speaker 5:So like every, and I could see the chopper. There was a chopper flying around around and all of a sudden, then obviously the second one hit and very quickly.
Speaker 1:I remember very quickly going.
Speaker 5:This is, this is an organized, this is. This is not right. Yeah, so I was, as I said, I was the only one awake, so I phoned everybody. I called everybody's room who I knew was a New Yorker, so I called, like Porrick and one of the tappers, and, because I knew they were, they were all had family in New York, right.
Speaker 5:So we I actually ended up getting up and going for a walk and it was the weirdest thing, cause I was on the downtown in Minneapolis and they actually closed everything. And Caribou coffee was right beside us and they were open. Starbucks are closed, caribou were still open and I went to get a coffee and we literally all everybody huddled into a room and we just sat there and watched everything all day. But it was terrifying because, like you, didn't have the information you have now, so you were relying our parents and our families didn't know what was going on and I want to say, well, yeah, well, then there was the ones shut down around the Pentagon and everything. So it was just, it was horrific. So I was a.
Speaker 4:I was a arise fellow, so I was in a fellowship at the CDC and they sent everyone home.
Speaker 4:But I actually had tickets that weekend to go to New York and they put it off to the following weekend and I will never forget we got on the plane and it was an enormous plane and I promise you there were like 18 of us on that plane going to New York and we went there, obviously like we go. We used to go every September, but we got there and we went and it was like I mean, just a haze fog and just going, you couldn't go so far. Obviously you can't go on the Metro, like you can't go in that area and people walking around and like that's when I first saw masks.
Speaker 4:Like people were like wearing masks and like women pushing their babies, and just the sadness. And that's the first time I remember because I go to New York every year that it was just completely silent.
Speaker 4:You didn't hear a taxi cab. You didn't hear anybody, like you know, beep, nothing. And then just walking around all the fire stations and seeing like all the like flowers and memorials and pictures and just I mean this was like literally a week after or a week and a half after or 10 days, but it was just the most impactful, I think time Just yeah, you'll never see or experience that and I didn't live there. I'm not saying I was like the person that was like there going through it, but just to see that even when you're used to just going in, it's like you know New York is loud and taxis and everybody's, you know, blowing and mad at everybody. But it was just so awful.
Speaker 5:It was such a strange. Yeah, it was such a strange place.
Speaker 3:I had just dropped Stephen off at his little pre-K at the church and Trey had just turned one, so we were up in the playroom and they just came on Fox News. But to be honest, it was actually a local station.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I think mine was too.
Speaker 3:It was a local station and I remember him and I were playing and saw the first one and I was like oh my gosh, I mean cause they were saying that they thought that it was like maybe like a private jet or like a single in yeah.
Speaker 3:And I was like, so sad Like someone maybe had a midair emergency and oh my gosh. And then the second, and you really do. It's kind of like how I always remember my parents talking about. They knew exactly where they were when jfk was assassinated yeah, and like how they can remember it yeah, every day yeah, and I remembered in that moment that that's what this is like this is.
Speaker 3:And then again, at least, like you were saying, like didn't have social media, so we were watching it in real time with the local stations and I remember seeing the, the people that made the choice to jump, yeah, and I just, it just shakes you because making your terror yeah, making those decisions and then thinking and just when they came down and realizing how many people were still there and the first responders. So it just yeah, it's horrible because everyone had a normal day.
Speaker 2:They said goodbye. Normal, they went to work, everything was normal. Normal it's just crazy.
Speaker 3:I mean, how many days have we had that? If you're going to get on a flight and you say, hey, I love you.
Speaker 4:I'll text you when I land, or hey, I'll call you during lunch and how many heroes I mean even that we didn't hear about. Like how many heroes were there that day?
Speaker 3:Ordinary people that did extraordinary things and I think that, that even in, like the worst times, it does show the immense power of the human spirit. Because, again, like I know, I was watching some interviews this morning. Was it Frank, is it Silverman? From Tunnel to Tower, his brother.
Speaker 3:Yeah, his brother is the one who was the firefighter that they started the whole thing and that so many firefighters they perished. But they told their like I think his brother was like no, you guys go back down. And he stayed because one of the people in the stairwell couldn't wasn't going to move and he was going to stay, and so just yeah, just the amazing thing that the human spirit can do. And again, it was such an absolute horrific day, but to see it's so amazing, yeah.
Speaker 4:And really the world and pull together yeah.
Speaker 3:Other than those who did it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, we've done it, but how?
Speaker 3:the world came together.
Speaker 4:We've done a tour three times, like with the kids, but it's there's like a church there, like everything around it, kind of you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, st, like a church there, like everything around it, kind of you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 5:Yeah, yeah, yeah, st Patrick Is St Patrick. No, st Patrick was in Paul's.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's right there, but everything kind of was gone with that.
Speaker 4:But, that was their like kind of resource camp where they like come with like water and things like that. But they do this tour and like every time you go, but the person gives that account and you just go through that and you just get chills every time, no matter who your person is, it's just like their account of it, even if they weren't there, it's just and it's so quiet and it's so just serene, but sad and just emotional, like seeing the water, it's just all the energy that.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but I never don't get touched.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the memorial is just so. Yeah, it's, it's amazing to see again busy new york. But I mean, I just went to a year ago, two years ago, quiet, and it's, everyone is so quiet around it like there's just such a, just a respect.
Speaker 1:Where were you?
Speaker 2:and I was in my get ready to go to work and I remember watching on the news and you know the first one I thought this is horrible. And then the second one I was like oh my gosh, it was, this was planned. Yeah, Terrifying.
Speaker 5:One of my friends, her brother, was actually killed in the Twin Towers and she shared this this morning. She shared his last text, so it was on instant message, and at like 8.39, he said we have a conference a little while she said morning sounds good, I have to go into a nine o'clock meeting. And then at 9.06, he said a plane. No, someone said to him a plane just hit the World Trade Center and he signed off at 9.11.
Speaker 2:And that was yeah, that's so goosebumps.
Speaker 3:Oh, it's, yeah, me too so sad. Yeah, just those messages, the ones from the plane that went down in Pennsylvania.
Speaker 4:Oh, yeah, that was the worst.
Speaker 3:Like just so sad.
Speaker 4:I mean again, just Well, then and after that, so many that were going, so we thought one was coming to the CDC in Atlanta. Right, they thought that one was going to San Francisco, san Diego, somewhere on the West Coast, like it just was. It was scary, yeah, it's a very tough time.
Speaker 2:There are definitely a lot of people that unsung heroes oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Anything about first responders.
Speaker 2:I mean, I have so much respect for them.
Speaker 4:And just you know running into danger to save people. You can never predict. That, like I mean, you think about all the like things that you would encounter for first responders it would never be that severe.
Speaker 3:Like this is it? Yeah, and that's what they say Like the families are the ones is that when they realized I'm not, I'm still going to go up, but I'm not coming down.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And just that they still did it. Yeah they did, so it's amazing.
Speaker 2:Yep, when you talk about you being united and everything and there was I mean there's definitely a uniting that we've not had in my lifetime. That was the most united.
Speaker 1:I've ever felt Right uniting that we've not had in my lifetime.
Speaker 2:That was the most united I've ever felt Right. But you think about, like the quote, better together and I wish that somehow we could do that again and be better together Because you know I was picturing. I'm an analogy person. If you picture like two people pushing against a rock, right we're not getting anywhere. Right If all of us want to push it a certain direction and we all want to be safe. We all want to be safe, we all want to have a great economy, we all want to have better lives right Right.
Speaker 2:And safe and good for our children and grandchildren. If we all were pushing that rock in the same direction, like that would be, Honey, that's the thing.
Speaker 3:Common sense has left the building. Because you're so right Like we can't have a world where we all believe the exact same. No, because then you, like you said, you go nowhere, like you don't grow if you all believe the exact same.
Speaker 4:But you have to find connection and unity.
Speaker 3:You do Well, you have to find respect, and I think that's what's missing.
Speaker 5:I think that's fair yeah.
Speaker 3:I just so yeah.
Speaker 2:Tricia, like it's just Because, like you said, it about respect, like listening to the other person's opinion. Oh wait, yeah, that's a valid point and, yeah, I think that that's something we definitely lack. And, again, even though we might have differences in beliefs, we all still, in general, have the same end goals globally.
Speaker 3:There might be different things, but we want a better world. We want a better world for our kids, yeah, and for all kids.
Speaker 4:And just empathy of like I don't. If I see someone hurting, I'm going to help that person. I don't care, I don't care what they're wearing or who they are Right. What they look like, or their race or their gender or whatever. I'm going to. You want to like help and do that, versus like putting a roadblock up for whatever reason yeah, like it's.
Speaker 3:That's my problem. I know we just need a heart.
Speaker 5:We do yes we do it's, kelly for.
Speaker 2:President.
Speaker 3:I've called her.
Speaker 2:Hey I.
Speaker 3:Lisa is going to run. What cabinet position. We got to think about that. That could be so.
Speaker 2:What cabinet position could I have? Is there a fashion? I don't think there's a fashion.
Speaker 5:Oh, you could be my stylist.
Speaker 2:Oh, I could be. You can be my psychologist, you can just do my face Gotcha, all right.
Speaker 3:I got enough, okay, so actually you really don't need a cabinet, we're good, no.
Speaker 5:I don't need an advisor. No, I might need a financial. I'm not good at math, but that doesn't seem to matter.
Speaker 2:So is it too late to enter an independent? I don't think so.
Speaker 5:I think you should, lads, I wasn't born here. Hey, I probably know somebody that can fake that.
Speaker 4:We can fake that.
Speaker 3:Lisa Kelly for president Independent. I know that Seriously.
Speaker 5:That's the thing you know. You can't actually be president if you're not born in the country we can lie.
Speaker 4:Your accent might give you away a little bit.
Speaker 5:It might just have a little bit of a like oh my God, okay, come on.
Speaker 3:I, oh my God, okay, come on.
Speaker 5:I don't do my best. I can't do it on the spot. I can only do it now. Yes, you can. No, no, I'm going to do the vocal fry.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God, you know what my favorite thing? So Lisa's son, Jack, works with me and people all the time speak oh, where are you from? And I go Alabama.
Speaker 5:That's the funniest thing ever. It makes me proud One of the times Jack and I were going down to Savannah last year and we stopped in Dublin, georgia, on the way down, because it was a Dunkin', so Jack wanted a Dunkin', so we stopped, gotta get a Dunkin' so this poor girl behind the desk, she's like oh my God, I love your accents, where are you from?
Speaker 5:And Jack went we're from Dublin, and she just kind of went I don't know you. He was like no, dublin Ireland and she was like what I don't know Dublin Ireland Is that in Georgia?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm from the South side of your state.
Speaker 4:You're like Dublin Ireland, georgia.
Speaker 5:Yeah, yes, yes, yes, so yeah. No, I can't be president this time, maybe.
Speaker 4:Harry can.
Speaker 2:I would vote for you. Thanks, I would vote for you, thanks.
Speaker 5:Thanks, I wouldn't want the job.
Speaker 3:I mean right now, who?
Speaker 5:would no, thank you, no, thank you, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't want 49% of the people hating me.
Speaker 4:I'm not sad because you used to think it would be such like people that used to be so respected had that job, and now people are like I would never want that job.
Speaker 5:Oh god, no, I'd never want that job the families I would not be president of anywhere. Oh gosh, right now I mean it's just awful it is social media has ruined us they're scrutinized.
Speaker 2:So bad yeah you know I have to. I have to call out my college roommate who was so much fun. She was like I'm the rule follower. She was not, but angie would anytime we go out and she'd always be like well, there goes my chances of being president, so that was pretty funny.
Speaker 3:Oh, I lost that chance many years ago.
Speaker 4:If that was before social media, you may still be okay, Trisha.
Speaker 3:I mean, I do think all the Polaroid pictures went up in flames for me, but there might be a couple out there.
Speaker 5:Can you imagine, though, people digging into your past?
Speaker 3:to find things. Oh, I mean, I would almost do it just to watch the reaction of their like. Is this for real?
Speaker 4:I will just say like I was just somewhere that I was and we were going over like rules or regulations. And then it's like people go on social media and they get on this like group chat, right. It's just like about just the group of, like the students that were there and they're all doing everything and bashing people that they were just told not to do. And I'm like this is in writing. This is like why would you write something that people just told you not to do? That could be like. So when that person gets mad at you, they're like hey, look what so-and-so said and it's like everywhere, why would you do that?
Speaker 3:I know it's like when the D1 scholarships like football I mean I know about the football, but like they do a deep dive into that child's social media and so many kids have had scholarships yanked because of that exact thing that they were told don't do this make good choices, I mean cause, if you put it out there, it is there, there is no deleting it. I mean there's like a superficial delete, but like it's life changing.
Speaker 2:You know, I wonder if we're more aware of that because we didn't have it. And then I was like Whoa, this is like out there versus going up with it, and we also wouldn't have put it in a letter Like do you know the way you were?
Speaker 3:so no but you were so aware. No, you're so right. No, that's what I'm saying. Like when I would write something they'd be like you're so great Because it was drilled into your head, if you put it in writing.
Speaker 5:Whereas I don't like. I think my kids are pretty smart, but the amount of times I've, are you stupid? Why would you put that?
Speaker 3:in a text. You're kind of looking at me like are you in there, why would you put?
Speaker 5:like we talk about this all the time. Why would you put that in a text?
Speaker 3:because you can never like it, never goes away, can't take it, nope that screenshot. No, no, okay ladies, cheers to, cheers to the 80s, but also cheers to first responders who lost their lives God love them, and here's to just a better world.
Speaker 5:Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 2:Cheers to that.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining the ladies of the Middle Age-ish podcast as they journey through the ups and downs of this not young but definitely not old season of life. To hear past episodes or make suggestions for future episodes, visit wwwmiddleagishcom. That's wwwmiddleageishcom. You can follow along on social media at Middle Age-ish. Also, if you have a moment, to leave a review, rate and subscribe. That helps others find the show and we greatly appreciate it. Once again, thank you so much for joining us and we'll catch you in the next episode of the middle-aged ish podcast.
