MIDDLE AGEish
Authentically and unapologetically keeping it real, discussing all things Middle Age (ish), when metabolism slows and confidence grows. Middle Age(ish): A time of transition from dreaming of who we will grow up to be and looking at the legacy we will leave behind. Listen to this podcast and join the hosts of Middle Age(ish) as they sit around with a glass of wine to discuss all things related to middle age with some amazing guests!
MIDDLE AGEish
Just Show Up with a Good Attitude: An Inspiring Talk with Lt. Col. Jason Pike
Have you ever wondered how a decorated combat veteran conquers the challenges of dyslexia and rises to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel? That’s exactly what we delve into with our inspiring guest, Lieutenant Colonel Jason Pike, on today's Middle Ageish podcast. We uncover the riveting story of Pike’s three-decades-long journey in the Army and how he transformed his struggles into strengths, inspiring us all with his resilience and determination.
We take a deeper look into the often overlooked world of veterans and the daunting challenges they face upon their return home. Pike offers insightful perspectives into his own encounters with PTSD and the daily battles veterans confront. We address the pressing concerns surrounding resources and support available for veterans. We urge everyone to rally behind our veterans, acknowledging the sacrifices they have made for our nation.
Our conversation then veers towards the struggles of learning disabilities and the power of education. Pike’s personal narrative of overcoming dyslexia and pursuing multiple degrees transcends the ordinary, illuminating the path for others battling similar setbacks. The episode wraps up with an empowering message underscoring the importance of self-confidence, grit, and the will to triumph over any obstacle. So tune in, and prepare to be moved by this phenomenal tale of adversity, perseverance, and triumph.
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Welcome to the Middle-Age-ish podcast, authentically and unapologetically, keeping it real, discussing all things middle-age-ish, a time when metabolism slows and confidence grows. Join fashion and fitness entrepreneur Ashley Badosky, former Celtic woman and founder of the Lisa Kelly Voice Academy, lisa Kelly, licensed psychologist and mental health expert, dr Pam Wright, and highly sought-after cosmetic injector and board certified nurse practitioner, trisha Kennedy-Roman. Join your hosts on the journey of Middle-Age-ish.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Middle-Age-ish podcast. I'm Trisha Kennedy-Roman and I'm joined here today with my co-host, ashley Badosky, lisa Kelly and Dr Pam Wright. And today we are honored to have with us Lieutenant Colonel Jason Pike, who has served over three decades in the Army and is a decorated combat veteran and has written two books. One is Soldier Against All Odds and the other one is Out of Uniform Back in a Civilian Life. So we are excited to talk to him just about his long military career as well as his books. So welcome to our show.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much for coming on, so excited oh yeah, it's been something else getting these books out and going on to my passion right now and creativity, but yeah, it was a long time in the Army Awesome.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you for your service. We were talking just about what a sacrifice it is and how much we appreciated how much we would not be able to hang with being in the military, so we have a lot of admiration for those who can't Amen to that.
Speaker 3:Yes, Well, I nearly got kicked out myself three different times, but that's in my book.
Speaker 4:Oh, that's juicy, though, I know yeah.
Speaker 2:It's very juicy.
Speaker 3:No, yeah.
Speaker 5:So how did you pick the path of military?
Speaker 3:Well, there was not a whole lot of options. Academics were out of the question. But I did get three college degrees but it was just I don't know. I was not a criminal and I was still. I was physically fit and I think I could have passed the entrance exam and but no, that was because there just wasn't much options. Or I was from a small town called Fingerville, south Carolina, which is a town in South Carolina, northern Spartanburg County. So that's kind of why I kind of put my foot in the door. So yeah, that's kind of how that worked.
Speaker 5:So what kept you? Because I mean, like Trisha said, you were there. You served for over three decades and we appreciate anyone who serves, but you made it a career and led you to where you are now. So, like, how did you just I mean not to sound cheesy, but stay in the fight.
Speaker 3:Oh, there was just so many benefits I found out. It was not just the retirement system, which is an excellent retirement system, but it was the travel and the opportunities to see other things, other cultures and people that I would never been able to have seen if I didn't join. So once I got in I was thinking you know, this is this might be a pretty good deal for a long term career.
Speaker 2:Right and you lived in multiple countries, correct?
Speaker 3:Oh wow, five different countries, nearly nine years overseas. We got Germany, got Afghanistan, el Salvador, korea, a lot of time in South Korea and some other countries that I can't talk about, but a lot of my time was overseas. That's amazing.
Speaker 2:So I know you mentioned your multiple degrees, which is awesome, because I know just by reading you know your bio that you had a lot of difficulties when you were younger, so I think that that's really cool. I mean, you were definitely an overcomer with that. Can you tell us a little bit about your journey through and how that came about?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I surprised the hell out of my family. There are no doubt about that.
Speaker 3:And my high school counselor too. But no, I was learning, identified when I was seven years old as someone that was a Sloan learner. There was a term floating around called dyslexia, but it wouldn't diagnosed officially on that, Even after I had my college degrees. A standardized test to me and any type of instruction. I think all your viewers out there can change a tire much better than me. I mean, if you give me the practice to do something, I can do it, but I have to work at it harder and I'm slower Right and a lot of people are like you know.
Speaker 3:I mean, you don't know how to do it, but no, I had to work. I had to work at it and a good question would be how in the hell did you join the Army? Because you have to pass a basic entrance exam and I started in the National Guard, which was the less than best. We were weekend warriors, one weekend a month, two weeks a year, drinking beer and goofing off. But they used to call us nasty girls no goes things of that nature. But I saw I went in at. The very bottom is rank and education. I went into a junior college and I got my basics up and then I went transfer over to a reputable college, plimpson University. So I started real slow and methodical and just kind of worked my way in that way on education, which was to me even to this day is difficult for me.
Speaker 2:So you started out, then enlisted and then you ended up obviously as Lieutenant Colonel, so kind of went in and made it work yeah made it work.
Speaker 3:Yeah, then they're in the reviews of the first book, a Soldier Against All Odds. There's folks that knew me and says he's surprised the hell out of me and I kind of like this was kind of fun to surprise everybody about what I'm doing. And just I wouldn't know, I was a quiet guy. I started talking a lot later on in life, maybe after some of my siblings said I didn't start talking until I was age 30 or my confidence was low.
Speaker 5:Oh, that's sibling.
Speaker 3:But yeah, it was just a slow, methodical and in many times a painful process. Once I got in, I see I almost got kicked out when I was age 17. I had failed. I was older than most people in high school and I never said anything about me failing the first grade and having problems learning. My high school counselor knew about it and some others, but for the most part it was kept sort of a secret. I guess each 17,. I almost got thrown out.
Speaker 3:I went into a criminal correctional facility, not because I did anything criminal in the army, it was just because I wasn't able to drink the damn water that was coming out of that fire hose. It was coming too fast. You had to learn things quickly and I was one of the worst ones there. And it was a motivational program criminal correctional facility. They made big rocks in the small rocks and climbed obstacle courses and it was a shit stone. It was much, much more advanced than just a much more degree of hill. And I come out of that graduated basic training when I was 18. And in my brain at that time I'm thinking I think I can do a whole lot more because I people just don't understand what I just went through and I started gaining a little bit more confidence. Got my first girlfriend after that, but so, but yeah. So things started working out real. So I said well, I think I can go to college, and even though they tell me I can't, that's the way I become a leader. You got to get a college degree.
Speaker 3:And so that's how that started real slow from a junior college, yeah.
Speaker 2:So you started in the military when you were 17?, 17, I was still in high school.
Speaker 3:I had to even graduate. We called nasty girls National Guard, I mean, you didn't have to have a high school diploma, yeah, so I think they just slipped me on through and I feel that I probably failed the test. But they just weren't numbers and things but once I got my foot in the door. Once I got my foot in the door, it was in the door. So yeah, a 17,. I was a junior. Well, yeah, I was a junior in high school.
Speaker 4:They don't do that. Now. You have to be older, don't you know how to enlist.
Speaker 3:Definitely you need to have a high school diploma to go into the army. I don't know about the National Guard or the reserves, I don't know if they'll let you in without a high school diploma or a GED. But at the time in the guard I just remember I had to get my mom's signature. I remember that and I was like, okay, she'll sign off on it, but other than that, yeah, I don't know these days.
Speaker 4:So which was scarier than like being in the army or doing your college degree?
Speaker 3:Oh, I was scared to death walking into a college classroom because that was a place. Oh yeah, it was well known that this is a place that's outlined for me and but once I got the first semester of the second semester, I started to slowly building up the confidence.
Speaker 3:I think, I can handle this and you know it wasn't anything technical, it was an education. So I was on a slower path, maybe the five, five and a half year program. At the same time I was still in the reserves or the National Guard and then I'd be. I got a ROTC scholarship. I applied well, I applied once and failed and got it on the second try. But I went to Clemson and was able to get my degree in agriculture education. I was from a rural background and that's what you needed. You needed a bachelor degree and that was my goal and I got that. I was able to get that.
Speaker 2:That's incredible. Yeah, that's amazing. So you tell them about gaining confidence, but obviously, as you went up in ranks, you were responsible for a lot of people and a lot more people as it went on, and so I can't imagine having that responsibility of having platoon or yeah, yeah, kind of you're a young guy and you're in charge of maybe 20, 30, 40 people and they have a lot more experience in you.
Speaker 3:But leadership was pounded into me early and I got leadership pretty well as far as just treating others like you want to be treated, and to me it was sort of common sense and you give the task down to your subordinate leaders and they allow them to carry it out, and I did well with that. I did well with that. So that was something that they taught us to trust your leaders and trust your subordinate leaders. And I did well. And I was never you can probably detect I never thought I was better than anyone. I was. I felt always blessed that I was in the position I was.
Speaker 5:Yeah, but those are the best leaders, I think, the ones that continue to have a humble heart and they lead by example. I think that that actually shows how you were able to overcome what you did in move on. I think that's so important. I think in life, yeah, and nobody's better than anybody else. You've got to work just as hard, if not harder.
Speaker 4:And having the knowledge that you need to continue learning as well to make yourself better. I always think it's because we all run our own businesses, but I always feel it's nice to be able to sit back and listen to others' opinions and take it on board and not be so full of yourself that you're not available to learn or listen or gain some new knowledge all the time.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, and I was definitely all for you know, help me out, man, help me out, I don't know. But yeah, exactly, I agree with that, for a hard time yeah.
Speaker 2:Point eight too just the fact that it didn't come easy for you. I think that that again is a leader who can understand other struggles and be more of an encourager versus someone who you know it is very natural and easy for them. I think that that would make even a stronger leader to overcome those challenges, to be able to work hard to get where you want it to be. I think that's really cool.
Speaker 3:I was always empathetic with the folks that did the work at the bottom, because I used to be there myself.
Speaker 5:Right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, that's right. They call that term Mustang in the military, someone who came from the lower ranks and made it up and I, yeah, exactly being very humble.
Speaker 2:Because is that common, you know, for people that are enlisted? I know there are I'm here in Warren officers and such but is it common to then go back and become a commissioned officer?
Speaker 3:At the time it was not. It's more common now. They have programs where they try to get enlisted to become officers. Well, I was in an era at that time that it was not common and once you're enlisted you sort of have the tendency to stay enlisted because once you go become an officer you go down to the, you're down at Butter Bar, which is the second lieutenant, which is at the lowest of the officers. You're still in charge of people and you're still higher up there, make more money. But still it's more common today that it was when I joined.
Speaker 2:So your book, I know, talks about some of the struggles you went through work anyway and does it cover a lot of events through your military career as well.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I say pretty much goes into detail and I pretty much I'm very, very vulnerable with everything that I've done good in the bad and the ugly, which is really hard to get. The vulnerability thing, because I grew up in the south as a man and you're in the military, you suck it up, you take it all, you don't complain. But in the book I pretty much gave it all up and it's that was the hard part of the book is to have somebody work with you to get the details of girlfriend problems, car crashes, jealousy, all the human rage, emotions, fun, all those things and just pack them together as a life. And that was real difficult because you got to think, well, what are they going to think about me? And then I think that this and that are destroy your friendships. So really that was the really hard part of the book is just vomiting it out.
Speaker 5:But was it a healing process for you to be so raw and vulnerable?
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was a healing process that I got over a lot of things that I had hang ups with Right, yes, there was a healing process to this and definitely was.
Speaker 6:We talked about how it's so hard to adjust to coming back to life here. If you've been overseas or you've been at war and there's no other things.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's tough yeah.
Speaker 6:So how is that for you? I mean, was there like some PTSD? Oh yeah, was there other things going on, or? Oh, yeah, I burned.
Speaker 3:I got PTSD really later in my career, before I even went to war. I've got my PTSD from like a mean girl event that occurred in the military where I had a bunch of false accusations that were throwing against me for things that I went through a federal investigation of espionage against the US government. But in organizations such or it could be cliques or things if things don't fall into place too well with leaders, there's things that they can do and I started developing PTSD later. I was a senior military officer, lieutenant Colonel at the time. That was before I went to Afghanistan and then, of course, my father's death in Afghanistan really solidified that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and you talked about getting out and the transition and you think about all those things that you did overseas doesn't have to do with war, it could have to do with just being a team member, could be the foods, the taste, the smells and all the things that. And then you're back in America and you're on drive by Popeyes and you feel like you're going to throw up. It's just, you know, you go back to all the other things that were that you remember and sometimes you miss and kind of wish that you were back. But once you get the PTSD and that forms in you and you're getting burned, burned out. Then that's the reason I got out, was I needed to heal. I need to find something to heal.
Speaker 6:And I think people don't realize how, because I've worked with a lot of veterans with PTSD like the little things that can set them off it just could be like a plastic bag that's going across the road and they think you know reminds them of like a bomb or something you know just little things that can like, trigger those like thoughts and memories. That can be yeah for me it was.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was loud noises for me and a backfire of a car, things of that nature. Any loud burst, even even my daughter if she was to burst out or you know, or iPod with some sound, it would give me a little shock and reaction. But I live now in the countryside. It was much more peaceful where I have the nature going on. But yeah, that's those things can. They can trigger you and you might go back.
Speaker 2:Like that's what we really take for granted. You know that you can't imagine having experienced those things and having those type of triggers and and be able to come through it, you know such a large, a large chunk of your life to like.
Speaker 4:It always amazes me that you know people are kids when they go into the army, like they're 17 and 18. You know, we have sons all around the same age like. I know they're not emotionally mature enough to handle sort of anything really and you're thinking that these four kids are heading off into the army and dealing with things that they've never had to deal with before.
Speaker 5:It's just the sights that, yeah, the things that they have to see, as you know, yeah.
Speaker 3:And a lot of them don't stay as long as I did. They might go in for three or four years and come back, and they'll go back to their same town and everything's changed. They well, they've changed. But also, other figure once, there's an old term called once you leave, you can never come back, and so they feel that they're out of place. But you know, they've changed, the people have changed and they're different folks as well, and you have to establish, wherever you want, your pattern. I mean, they may have driven tanks and rode in helicopters just freely and wildly, and then now they're bagging bags at Walmart or something and they're like what is this? What's up? What's up with this stuff? And they don't feel the camaraderie, they don't feel the excitement. I used to drive a tank or where, this, this, this, and now I'm doing this, I'm driving a truck, driving, you know.
Speaker 4:So it's not the same thing. And the hard thing, when you come back as well, is you don't realize that people have moved on as well. So they've moved on away from you and you think you're longing for something that was there like two or three years ago. And then you go back and everybody else has continued on with their life and you're like oh, this is, this is different.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, so this, this thing about suicide and there's a whole lot of it's an animal that we've been looking at for over a year and looking at for over 10 years or more around it, so we haven't got our hands wrapped around it.
Speaker 5:We'll, we'll, no yeah, cause that's what we were talking about Just the focus needing to be on the veterans coming home and to make sure that they're taking care of mentally, spiritually. And there is, it seems I mean to a lay person who doesn't have any background like you do just the disappointment in how veterans are treated and the agencies and the services that they need, just for us hearing, if we even listen to the news. You know how that has to be a struggle for someone like yourself. That you know, you did, you were there for 31 years and you went through that stuff to come home or just to see other veterans in those different situations.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because you come back home and you you deal with the veterans administration. And then I deal with the veterans administration in my second book, out of uniform and back into civilian life. I try to break it down for folks. It's more of a self-help guide with links, and I do speak that the veterans administration is a difficult beast. It's the largest healthcare agency, a huge bureaucratic organization that's difficult to get through just because there's so many different hurdles. And I try to tell them to stick with it, just like anything else in life, and to work with it the best you can.
Speaker 3:Because a lot of folks think, well, that's where my money is going to come from or where that's where my healthcare is going to come from, and it might be, there's got to be, yes, but there's second and third order benefits to belonging to the VA. Then they don't. They don't understand there could be free cars, adaptive housing, housing with ramps, and there's you can't drive, or a house. If you can't afford a house, if you're under certain conditions, you can apply to become a homeowner for free, but you've got to be rated, you've got to have that VA rating. And then if you've got PTSD and you're impatient and you don't want to work with it. That can be some struggle for the veterans.
Speaker 5:I just think that's so sad, though I know Like I think it's again, it's just one of the biggest injustices in a world full of injustices. But that is how our veterans, not how all veterans, but I mean I do feel like it's a large percentage of veterans, yeah you can hear the horror stories, Especially with me.
Speaker 3:I did well, but I had prepared for it and I kind of knew what was. That was a good problem that I had, which was the person who was supposed to help me was not around and wouldn't help me, and so I when and figured it out on my own.
Speaker 3:I went into the right which I don't recommend because it's a big. It's like you know, you go to the tax man, you give me taxes, but I had to figure out a whole lot of things on my own. I had the time to do it and it took me a while and I got paperwork and I cannot read really well relatively fast which was five months out, but a lot of them don't have that ability to read and have the time to go through the regulation. The best thing to do is really get a good veteran service officer that that will put the stuff in that represents you it right your advocate, your advocate, get the good
Speaker 3:advocate. It could be the american legion, it could be the bfw, it could be a whole it but and get them that are certified and know what they're doing. Mine wasn't around but I did it, but yeah, that's the biggest takeaway is get a good representative to represent you and just stick with it, because once you put that paperwork in, that's where it starts. Once it's stamped, that's where it starts, that's where you get your back pay and so. But I just try to try to encourage folks to try to hang in there, because it's much more than just your money monthly and your health care right.
Speaker 2:What would you say is one of your biggest lessons you learn from your years in the military?
Speaker 3:oh just show up at the right place at the right time with the right attitude, even if you don't know a damn thing, and you'll be doing much, much, much better than most people. Because when I showed up with the right place, with having the right attitude, um, that it may be short a little earlier so you can talk to some people in the meetings and get a, get a personal basis with them. That'll help you out a lot as well. And and even if you don't know what, what a lot of ambiguity out there in the military, lot of times we don't know what we're going to be doing or where we're going, and and you may not know what to do and you, you got to form together as a team. And if you show up and you have a good attitude, maybe even 10 minutes before meeting or a formation, and just get on a personal level before the any instructions occur, is my biggest takeaway I think that's a really good lesson.
Speaker 5:That's a life lesson just to go up, have a positive attitude and do what it yeah, and do what you need to do, yeah exactly.
Speaker 3:The leaders will take note of it and stay true to your core and, whoever you are, be that person, because they'll they'll know a fake in our beat.
Speaker 2:That's so true did you start writing your book while you were in the military? Was it after you got out you decided to write a book?
Speaker 3:it was after I got out. They had been nagging on me in the military to do it, but I definitely wanted to be out of that military before I did, because there's just so many deep, dark secrets and things and so right but then I, I didn't mean, I, I did not arrive.
Speaker 3:Look, I don't know how to work, but I, I felt the english of all and so that is my, and english is my worst subject. Writing and reading are my worst subjects, and I'm from the south. We say y'all, not you. I mean there's just so many different vernettes and we spell phonetically yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean south kerala sculces were 49th in the country and the only one lower than us is mississippi. So yeah, but I wanted to get the stories out and I wanted to put that out for folks because I was a storied character in a way and I thought I had some something to give back to folks. That is not just life lessons and just oh my god type of things.
Speaker 4:It's uh, she versus well, funny stuff that occurred and and just everything of life that's all wrapped up in a military memoir biography and has the army moved on in that it's more supportive of people with learning disabilities, or is it a better environment to be in these days, because I'm sure people are more aware of everybody learning differently?
Speaker 3:in those days it was not heard of at all. I didn't hear anybody say and I never did, except one time that I had a problem learning and but I don't know if it is because you're supposed to be competent in your basic skills before you go in and I don't. I don't know if that is brought up to the like. If you go to a college you can like an idea. Later on I figured out that you can get an educational psychologist to write a letter for you so you have extra time or space or place. But in the military I'd never saw that happen. I haven't heard of that happening. Uh, yeah, in the military.
Speaker 6:I think about when you're younger is such a shame because I do that. I do educational testing now, so I diagnosed like dyslexia and dysgraphia my old like that. Back then, though it wasn't heard of, and if you had slow processing speed, you were just slow, you know, which meant like, yeah, you're just not smart, so you're slow. And so now there's so much education about that and so much testing that occurs and people you know students get the services that they need.
Speaker 6:But it's sad to think that, like you probably missed that because of the generation that we are up and you know the fact that you could have had those like skills to like, but it put you where you were, which is a good thing, obviously, but, um, it's just great that there's more supports and things and information about that now yeah, it was in the 90s when I got my second master's degree.
Speaker 3:Uh, and I did find out just by reading and things are just talking to people that and I did get extra time on the graduate record exam and I did get extra time on that second master's degree, but uh, yeah, and I and I had to study for it as well and I and I studied, I got a private, I hired a private tutor to tutor me through the g, re and uh and I just did slightly below average just by doing all that work and having that extra time, but I was able to do it but it shows, with dedication and passion and belief in yourself, like you mentioned earlier, that you can do this.
Speaker 5:Like you, a label is a label. It doesn't go to the core and, like, the purpose of how driven you are, yeah, and I think that that's such an amazing thing is because we now hear all these different labels and and you have to stay in this little like this is your category now and to show that you can. That actually is not the right way to do it. Like, if you have a strong belief in yourself and you know you can do it, whether you learn differently or not, and you can do it and you can make an impact and not have to stay with just a label. Right, I think that's amazing, yeah, and I.
Speaker 3:I had a label until I went to army and then I said, well, I'm gonna break, I'm gonna break it.
Speaker 5:No, but I think that's what's so encouraging about your story, you know, because there's so many of those out there that have gone through the same struggles and just see that, no, okay, you have to take a moment, but with self confidence and you just saying, no, I, I want better, I'm gonna do better and I'm gonna get better yeah, and I did.
Speaker 3:I got better and better and better, and so far, what? The world? You got this, but as it, should be as it should be.
Speaker 6:So I encourage you to go back to school or to go get the degrees like what? What was that choice?
Speaker 3:so to become senior in the military or in the army, where you had to get a master's degree.
Speaker 3:And so I went ahead and chose, well, a second master's degree, and my wife was saying you ought to get a phd, and I'm, and I was still like no, I was like I can just let me get another master's degree into my area. But education. I felt that was a key to a whole lot of things I love to me and I I took it pretty serious, as you can imagine, in college and I enjoyed learning, I found a way to enjoy it, but I was just slower at it. I mean, even right now there's a book I want to read, but I'm just real slow at it and I have to just methodically go through the process. But it's not like I'm going through 10 books a year at all. I'll go through one and I'm learning and just, and I was a bit creative as a leader and I had a creative strength to me and I applied, I would apply the information. One of my professor said you know, one little piece of information that's applied is better than one million accumulated facts that are not.
Speaker 6:Yes, and then I would find ways to apply things that I learned it may just be one or two things and that worked out pretty well for me so for people who struggled with, like maybe the same things that you had to deal with with, you know the reading and writing things like that what would you tell them? Like, what advice would you give people to keep them moving forward? Just like you will motivate it keep a motivated.
Speaker 3:If there was a recommendation from memory university and my mother and father did do it, but if you could get him specialized into an area, there might be a particular piece of instruction where you could go and learn reading comprehension much better. Maybe play and try to get into that specific school or training or certificate, if you can do that. And then, of course, if there's clip notes or a bridge diversions to the book of the material, do that. Whatever is a summary and then when you're in a classroom I would sit at the front and be the one of the first ones and show that the professor that you're interested in, that you're a serious student, to the professor there's also personality dynamics going to a class. So those are the few tips.
Speaker 3:I would take a lot of copious notes with a recorder and then after my class instruction I would immediately review it for five minutes only, and I would only go in 10 to 15 minutes segments and sometimes I would change my location where I was physically at present or sometime. I found a way it was kind of an animalistic skill of eating and drinking anything while you're reading or studying, because there's sensations that are going on, you're learning and if you've got the pizza or some sweet tea or whatever, whatever you like, and you're reading and studying. That help me a lot as well. Three by five cards do wonders, just multi-modal, incredibly self aware that.
Speaker 4:did you like to do, come up with those things yourself? Or did you have somebody that would eventually say try this, try this?
Speaker 3:Well, I had to. There was a tape out vhs recorder. Where there's a wheel, there's an a is in the letter, great. And I have a chapter on where there's a wheel, there's an a and I sort of sum it up on how the world I did that and I wrote notes down from that tape and then applied them in my studies and Help down one.
Speaker 3:And a lot of people think, well, I got to spend a lot of time driving. Well, I found a recorder and I would just listen to a recording of my voice. Yes, so I got that on my own. And just creativity and slow looking at it, where there's a wheel, there's an a, and then I would apply. Sometimes I would touch the paper, I would physically touch the paper, I would read it and then I would record myself and then sometimes, well, you have to drive to class, drive somewhere, and I just push the recorder on while I was driving and I would hear myself as well.
Speaker 3:That would give me some extra time to rehash and it was a. Usually it was multiple rehearsals and relooks. Usually when the test time came, there was no cramming for me. I knew I was gonna make an a then. So, because it's just a and everybody else was running around. At the last minute I was. I was like I'm fine, you know, I'll go out and drink some beer, you know I love the fact that you really overcame when you learned ways you didn't.
Speaker 6:Yes, yes, yes, yes, where? Yeah, like okay, well, I've got this, so I can't do it. You like, okay, I've got this, but I've got to find ways to do better and ever come and it's more work.
Speaker 3:I did, even though I have the book. A soldier against all odds. There was one odd. There was one thing I was on my side, my father believed in me and he was a good father, good leader and yet a good influence on me, and I think and he came from a very, very white trash, eating dumpster food type of a poor Time rags on your feet poor and he said we know, I made it well and that means you can make it well and there's no way I could have compared. I was never hungry, I never had to steal food, what there was in. I was looking at someone who was worse off than me, thinking you know, you know he's my example and he had a much worse than I did. So I think I can do something amazing yeah.
Speaker 2:I think that's important have someone believe in you, whether it's your parent, ask each other, or. I think that just having that person that believes in you to, especially when you're young, to give you that confidence, to Not just say, hey, I've got these issues, I can't, I can't do this. I think that's important.
Speaker 3:Have somebody tells you can hear her he believed in me and I get surprised, which I kind of enjoy out of it. It's a problem is this up one of his, one of his favorite things with son?
Speaker 5:you surprise a lot he would say that that's always a good thing when you think the price of your head and a good way.
Speaker 2:It was a good way, yeah, good way so, with your, your first book, how long did the second book come?
Speaker 3:to be. Well, the first, the first book, was hell. I was about two and a half three years. That was more of the vulnerability issue with. The second book came out within six months because we had something to go by. We had the veterans administration regulation which we broke down and the lakes to it, and then my knowledge of knowing how to proceed through it, and so we had something to go by with this book to formulate that, and I have a ghost writer who knows me very well. But no, that was the. That was quick. I'm working on a third book as well, and so once you got a good ghost writer who knows you which that took a lot of breaking ground to get someone to know you and understand your lingo and your, and then the second and the third and maybe more than that is more. It seems to be much more simpler, easier.
Speaker 2:That's awesome, great. Well, we are really appreciative of your. I think that you are definitely an inspiration to others, especially just showing that those challenges can make you stronger, and we are again thankful for you and will definitely list your books on the podcast.
Speaker 5:We put it out and Thank you for service yeah, thank you for what you do and what you're continuing to do. You're welcome. Appreciate being on your show.
Speaker 3:Yeah, giving hope to many, and I have this is about, is about inspiration, and hope is what I'm selling here. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 5:Thank you so much. Say go Otter.
Speaker 3:Thank you, take care.
Speaker 2:I was ready for you to ask about aliens. I did too. When he said secrets, I was like.
Speaker 5:I know, but I mean, you guys told me not to ask about aliens. I was ready.
Speaker 6:When he said secrets, I was like oh, here comes, ashley, you did Waiting.
Speaker 4:I'm proud of you for not asking.
Speaker 6:I thought you were going to ask.
Speaker 4:They meant to restrain.
Speaker 5:I wanted to that took so bad, I needed you to do it.
Speaker 6:I was waiting for you to be like so can you please tell us? You guys told me I couldn't. What life is there, alan, I?
Speaker 4:didn't think it ever. He's sweet. How old is he? Is he all?
Speaker 2:right, he's much older.
Speaker 4:Is he? Because he said he was 30 years old and he was 17. He's pretty recently out.
Speaker 6:I'm thinking he's in his 60s 50s, 60s, I was saying, but he said he joined when he was 17.
Speaker 4:And he was 32 years.
Speaker 6:But he said that he went to.
Speaker 5:But that's when he served for 32 years.
Speaker 6:Okay, he's been out since the 90s right.
Speaker 5:Yeah, and that was during when he was there he was in his 60s. He was in his 60s. He was in his 60s.
Speaker 2:He was in his 60s.
Speaker 5:He was like wow, he ever came a lot.
Speaker 2:I can't even imagine that's exactly how I had to learn.
Speaker 6:That's how you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm a terrible reader and writer Terrible.
Speaker 6:Well, I think I had to record my voice back then. And versus now.
Speaker 4:You know, there's like Dragon speak and there's audio books and there's so much more that we have so much more but back then.
Speaker 6:It was like yeah, you just felt like my dad was undyced.
Speaker 4:I was like yeah, I was like yeah, I was like, yeah, I was like yeah, I was like.
Speaker 6:I was like yeah, I was like wow, that's all I had.
Speaker 5:But back then it was like yeah, you just felt like yeah, undyced Dislexic, yeah, yeah, I'm definitely diagnosed Dislex, yeah, and so, like we talk about it all the time, because Steven, my oldest, was diagnosed and he is dyslexic, yeah, and so he did like he, like he would learn best with a white board written in green and all of that stuff, and so I do you do hate it for those that had to struggle and it was just okay. Well, you're slow, like you talked about him.
Speaker 6:I was the same way. I remember reading college.
Speaker 5:That's what my dad would say. He was like yeah I know my teachers would just say oh, he's slow.
Speaker 6:Slow meaning dumb, right yeah.
Speaker 5:Like seriously one of the smartest, not just because he's my father, but like seriously so successful, super smart. But it's because I know, even with my boys before they, you know, we had them tested Like they were trying to figure out how to learn and find their own way. But just to go through life thinking, you know, because I feel like at that era, when you were said to be slow, quote unquote, you were kind of just pushed to the side.
Speaker 5:Like it wasn't like okay so we feel like you're slow in learning, but we're going to help you.
Speaker 2:It's like no, you're written off Right.
Speaker 5:He could have definitely slipped through the cracks if he had been so determined. Yeah, he has to have. Oh, yeah, and I just I think that it's that's such a good lesson for anyone, in any genre and any profession or any level or stage in their life is that the odds were stacked against him. He talked about his family and, coming from you know very, very little to have the like, the self-awareness that, no, I think I'm better than this.
Speaker 4:And I think I can be better yeah.
Speaker 6:So I mean I think One slow doesn't mean. Yeah, I remember I would be on like problem 10 and everybody started in their test, you know, and I'm like what is? Wrong with me. Like I studied, I know this, but it's just, it wasn't about knowing it was just processing speed. Yeah, you process differently, so yeah, yeah, I think a lot of people have that whole. They want everything to be different and changed, versus just being accepted, and so to me, he was accepted. He accepted his limitations, but he overcame them by working harder.
Speaker 5:With determination.
Speaker 6:Yeah, this is what I need to do, to work harder.
Speaker 5:Instead of just being like okay. I have this With a label or whatever, and just yeah, like putting yourself on the shelf. Yeah, now you know to have like. Okay, I learned different or I have different experiences. I've had a different upbringing. I've had horrible things happen in my life, right Pushing through, figuring out how to turn a negative into a positive Right.
Speaker 4:I must be so hard like to hear you know that you're slow, or like that, lingering in the back of your head all the time of feeling like, because those are the experts at the time, your teachers.
Speaker 5:You were so good. Of course they didn't do be fair, they didn't know any difference. No, I felt. No, I mean it was, it was just You're taking on.
Speaker 4:Absolutely. They didn't have the knowledge. I feel like it was changing a little bit when I was in school, but it still wasn't there. But, like I think about my uncle, my uncle wrote with his left hand, but he was beaten to write with his right hand.
Speaker 5:I'm left handed and I was.
Speaker 1:Automatic brightness off.
Speaker 5:Hello, I what, like my teachers, literally tried to change my handwriting.
Speaker 4:Which is the?
Speaker 5:reason that I can do most things with both hands. It'd be the extra. When I would play tennis I didn't have a backhand. I can write now, now, later in life yeah, Because you know I'm 39. So, but when I was younger you would not be able to tell which hand I was writing with. That's crazy, Because they made me make sure, because you know, back then you had writing lessons.
Speaker 1:That was a class, like you, would have the lines yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4:Like in elementary school, you would have to.
Speaker 5:Yeah, you would have to like tilt that everything had to be perfection. I had to learn because I refused to write with my right hand, so I learned how to write like a right handed person with my left hand.
Speaker 4:So hard Yep.
Speaker 2:And you should write Imagine everything.
Speaker 4:Imagine everything it drove me crazy.
Speaker 5:Well, the desks were Right hand desks. Yeah, they had the right hand desk, so I had to. And then like think about the silliest things, scissors. Yeah, back in the day, like in Hellmac, you didn't you had the scissors that were indented. And it would like cause not that I'm Hellmac, what? Let's not, let's be honest, I am not a sewer, but like I would get like blisters, blisters on my thumb, cause I cause every like they. Yeah, cause it was supposed to be like bad if you were left handed.
Speaker 4:There is a thing I know.
Speaker 2:I always said left handed people are cool. I said it.
Speaker 6:I always want to write with my left hand. Super cool, I think they're more intelligent.
Speaker 4:I can write with my left hand a little bit.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I know, I like. I said I haven't done it in years, but I used to like you would not be able to tell if I was writing left handed or right handed. Like I just made myself learn Interesting. And I remember my grandmother. She would sit with me at her table and cause she had the most beautiful handwriting and she knew cause. I'm pretty sure my mom was left handed and they made her.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Right handed and I remember she would sit there with me and just okay, you know you have to loop this and it'll look this way and make sure you're slant, yeah, so when?
Speaker 4:you think about it now? They don't even learn to write like this.
Speaker 5:They don't even know how to write like that they can't do cursive at all. Yeah, I don't think I, my kids can't read my writing, cause I write in cursive all the time where it's got writes in block. Yeah, the kids don't understand my block letters looks like that Mine look pathetic too.
Speaker 6:Yeah, block just takes so much time from me. My writing in general is so bad?
Speaker 5:I mean, it has gotten bad, you're a doctor, that's why, I know I was
Speaker 4:like you're a doctor.
Speaker 5:You're not supposed to have a good writing.
Speaker 4:Yeah, just don't have a good handwriting. They are the brains.
Speaker 6:Did you take typing?
Speaker 4:Yes, yes, mavis Beaton typing.
Speaker 6:We don't do that now. Why?
Speaker 4:do they know they don't, cause they figured out. You can do it just as fast with your two fingers instead of you like putting your hands up on a piano.
Speaker 5:The girls at my store laugh at me so hard when I type cause I, or like I text cause I one finger.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, my mom's a one finger, oh my.
Speaker 5:God, yes, I can, I can't do that. Really Don't do two fingers.
Speaker 6:No, two thumbs, yes, two thumbs.
Speaker 4:I actually have my pointer. Thumbs more next.
Speaker 5:No, I do it with my pointer finger and I'll be like my mom does it with her pointer finger.
Speaker 2:My mom's like does they hit the?
Speaker 5:bell. This is why Ashley loves emojis, I think. I do love emojis.
Speaker 2:Just the right ones, guys.
Speaker 5:I know now that I know what some of them mean.
Speaker 2:Yes, exactly, I give thumbs up a lot more now, actually, since I've been doing my stuff. Oh, mm-hmm, oh yeah.
Speaker 5:It's crazy. I know I could seriously. I've said this before, I will say it again I can write an entire book with emojis and you're gonna know exactly what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:I would. Others are gonna think you're saying something completely different.
Speaker 5:Well, that could be it, but in my mind it's fabulous and that is really all that matters. In my mind, my emojis lighten the mood they make you giggle. Yes, you can roll your eyes. I only think you're giggling.
Speaker 6:Yeah, so that's really all that matters. So have you tried the thumb texting or no? Never.
Speaker 5:I have, and it's a night. I look like it looks like something weird is going on.
Speaker 4:I don't know how you text with your nails anyway. Well, that's true, I know I do have really long nails, but now I use my pointer finger and I'm always like hi, how are you?
Speaker 5:Oh, that didn't work out. Hi, how are you? I mean it might take me five minutes to say how are you? Cause I'm deleting and but, but then I'll throw an emoji in and I feel better.
Speaker 4:Well, that's Siri thing is the one that drives me inside the voice to text.
Speaker 2:She never understands anything I say no, I send some crazy texts cause I do all talk to text. She's like yeah, I don't even know how to do that, you don't.
Speaker 6:That's the easiest thing. She's like okay, but this okay.
Speaker 5:I can just tell you guys right now, as we all know, this is the reason I'm part of this podcast, because you guys are educating me. Because no, the only way that I know how to text with my voice is if I hit the little microphone.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but there's a blue like sand wave on your. You know where your emojis are. There's a blue sand wave comes up on your text message.
Speaker 5:I am going to hold on one second.
Speaker 4:I said this to my mom the other day I was like but you can talk to text, like I couldn't find my phone to text you. I'm just go well, I'll say hey, sorry, I'm saying it quietly. So, like you can like so.
Speaker 5:So you go to your text message there. Okay, so text message Pick up it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and then this blue thing here, this oh sorry, I can't do it with my glasses. Yeah, there you go. Add recipient to send an audio. So put Trisha in.
Speaker 2:Trisha. See, I don't know how you do the audio messages. I do talk to text. See, you guys are trying to show me something that doesn't work.
Speaker 4:Okay, there's Trisha at eye class right Now. Send your little messages tap the microphone. I love you emoji. You have to tap the microphone.
Speaker 5:Oh see, this is too much, you got to tap stuff.
Speaker 4:Oh, this is a voicemail I love you emoji. Well, that's the voice text. Sorry, I mean I gave you the wrong one. That's just send a voice text message. This is the reason.
Speaker 5:I don't do it.
Speaker 4:Because there's too many options.
Speaker 5:I use my pointer finger An emojis.
Speaker 4:And the send because that's a voice text you send her. But if you want to let go, hey, Trisha, don't forget to bring the wine Period.
Speaker 5:Period, period. We don't call them periods at home, oh so yeah, because you hit that little thing right there, right, yeah, so what's the difference between that with the big microphone and the bottom?
Speaker 4:It's the same thing that talks to text. It's the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5:Yeah, so funny, I freaking hate technology.
Speaker 2:I know, I already know Cheers to showing up and having a good attitude.
Speaker 5:Yep, there we are, and me not talking about aliens, cheers.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining the ladies of the Middle Age-ish podcast as they journey through the ups and downs of this not young, but definitely not old season of life. To hear past episodes or make suggestions for future episodes, visit wwwmiddleagishcom. That's wwwmiddleagishcom. You can follow along on social media at MiddleAge-ish. Also, if you have a moment, to leave a review rate and subscribe. That helps others find the show and we greatly appreciate it. Once again, thank you so much for joining us and we'll catch you in the next episode of the Middle Age-ish podcast. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you.
